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The Bane of Northwest Climbing


By Stefani Dawn
Fuck moss.
 
My environmental, nature-oriented, hippie side appreciates the beauty of this soft, bright green fauna that grows abundantly in the unique ecosystem that is the Pacific Northwest. The climber in me hates it.
 
Indeed, it is a struggle to reconcile these differing perspectives. To calm the inner argument, I settled on loving the moss that grows on the ground and trees, but cringe from its parasitic presence on concrete, roofs, and rock.
 
Ironically, an early spark of admiration for my man occurred over moss.
 
It was August and we had met only a month prior. We were in the early stages of mutual curiosity where he wondered, “Does she? Doesn’t she?” and we both wondered “Hmmm, do I?” So we did what rock climbers do – go climbing.  
 
We opted to go to a local crag to which neither of us had been. Demonstrating, if only subconsciously, our similar inclination towards adventure and a lack of desire to flash ego-filled chops on a well-practiced 5.11 at a favorite crag. Carver was conveniently near by. It had bolted and easy trad routes, and likely would not be crowded (since it requires a special card/permission for access).
 
We completed warm-up climbs on the center section of the wall, then moved right towards an area with trad climbs. I offered to take the sharp end and hopped on the rock. By the third move it became clear this route was not frequented.
 
As I reached onto each new ledge, I was met with piles of debris and was challenged to find clean sections of crack to place pro.  Each step upward got worse, transitioning from dirt, lichen, and tiny pine cones, to carpets of dried out moss from the rain-free summer. I was getting pumped from the extended time needed to yank, sweep, and clean to be able to safely pull and step up.
 
At about 60% of the way to the chain, I was feeling shaky and not on solid footing. I desperately needed the large ledge above to rest. But, when I reached up, I found a solid carpet of moss. With nothing to hold onto I slid (with a few explicatives) into a gentle fall onto my last piece of pro. I looked over to Rick with a mixed expression of pissed, puzzled, and defeated. I announced “I’m done.”
 
He smiled and then looked at the pro I placed. I could see in his eyes that he knew bailing would mean I would lose at least one piece of gear. Like a gentleman he offered to finish the climb and lowered me.
 
Rick hopped on with gusto and made quick work of the lower sections. When he reached the ledge of my demise, I seem to recall his first words being, “oh shit.” He frantically ripped and pulled off moss with one hand and found a hold. He cranked himself up and kept going after wasting a couple of minutes looking for non-existent pro-placements. He progressed forward with reach, cuss, clean, cuss, place pro, cuss, then move. I thought to myself, well, we certainly both cuss a lot when we climb.
 
His grunts became louder and more frequent as he gained elevation. He was now one big move beneath the chains and more run-out than made me comfortable, considering the ledge decking potential below. No doubt, the seduction of the chains and the large ledge immediately below them compelled him to push forward.
 
He reached up his hand in a final desperate plea to be done and yelled at the top of his voice, “Awe, FUCK YOU!”
 
His fist rose as if in a victory pump, but instead of victory there was a hand full of moss. He tossed it aside, desperately felt around, and clawed himself upward in a defiant refusal to be had by a piece of vegetation. He used speed to over come gravity and the lack of holds and nabbed the chain in the most glorious display of testosterone-filled desperation. That was indeed a victory. Man over moss and gear saved. Needless to say, I was impressed with his gumption, valor, stupidity, bravery, strength, and humility as he said, “that sucked.”
 
We were lucky that day. Other than a few bruises, we escaped injury. But another moss climbing incident would not be so fortuitous.
 
I was belaying a good friend at another local crag. It was earlier in the summer, not long after the rains had stopped and the moss was still slick and fresh. We glanced at the climb and from the ground, it did not look over grown. She decided to lead it.  It was bolted, but oddly so with a small, unprotected upwards traverse from the last bolt to the chains. When she arrived at that last bolt, she paused and studied the scene.
 
“Looks kinda crappy,” she said.
 
I told her to bail if it doesn’t feel right.
 
“Yeah, but I’ve done this climb before,” she replied. “It’s easy.” She reached her leg forward, gently stepping onto the traverse and grabbed a handhold. She began moving over. Step by careful step she edged her way to the finish.
 
She mumbled between moves. In the last step towards the anchor, she placed her foot onto a large, flat, but slightly negative hold, meeting a slick layer of moss. Immediately she was falling. Because this was an unprotected traverse, she swung uncontrollably into a large jutting wall below. There was nothing I could do to prevent the impact. Swear words flew out of her mouth. I could hear she was in pain.  
 
She sat hanging for a moment and then her adrenaline kicked in. She proclaimed, "climbing!" and, in her determined nature, she finished - this time taking care to remove the moss on the traverse foothold. Upon completion, I lowered her and could see she was shaking uncontrollably while untying her knot. I offered to help, but she said, "nah, I'm good," and made surprisingly quick work of it. Then I suggested we assess the damage. There was blood from random places, but a rapidly swelling, blue-tinted thumb accented by an almost dangling nail was what caught my attention. How did she climb with that?

She studied her thumb as if she were a disconnected bystander. "Oh, yeah, that doesn't look so hot." She mumbled something about her ribs, but rapidly dismissed it, and suggested we do another climb. I wondered from what planet this woman came? I also wondered, who am I to question someone's self-assessment, especially when she is a physician? So, perhaps against my better judgement, I acquiesced. Upon her insistence, she lead another climb, albeit more cautiously. Afterwards, when the pain truly started to kick in, we called it a day.

Later she texted me, “lost nail, broken thumb, broken rib, fuck moss.”


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  • Writing
    • All Writings (List)
    • Editions >
      • Themed Editions >
        • Adaptive Climbing Edition >
          • Adaptive Climbing Photo Feature: Paradox Sports
          • Advocating for Deaf Climbers: Sonya Wilson
          • Amputations: Leg Prosthesis for Climbing
          • Blind Ambition Builds a World Class Climber: The Story of Jesse Dufton
          • Climbing with Type 1 Diabetes
          • First Paralyzed Ascents: Rand Abbott
          • Mixed Climbing: My Answer to KT Syndrome
          • Paraclimbing Competitions: Althlete Interviews
          • Rock!
          • The Unreasonable Man
        • Belaytionships Edition >
          • Featured Photographer: Charlie OlGrady-Kessner
          • Belaytionships: Drew-and-Sarah
          • Belaytionships: Jeantique and Natalie
          • Belaytionships: Maggie and Charlie Odette
          • I Am My Father's Son: Layton Bridwell
          • Book Review: Uncoiling the Ropes
          • Zac the Interloper
        • Big Wall Edition >
          • Book Review: Paul Preuss: Lord of the Abyss
          • Featured Photographer: Matt Spohn
          • Grading Commitment
          • Hanging with the Monkeys, and Getting the Monkey Off My Back
          • It Was His Time: Brad Gobright Interview May 2019
          • John Middendorf : A Big Man for a Big Stone
          • Sébastien Berthe Free Climbs the Nose From the Ground Up
          • Shit Happens – Or, Why You Need a Walkie Talkie
        • Developers and Guidebook Authors >
          • Developer - Mitch Lehman
          • Andrew Penny - A Blue Mountaineer
          • Kevin Powell
          • Rock Star Groupie
          • Tony Calderone
        • Exploring Our World >
          • AUSTRALIA - Photographer - Diego Perez
          • AUSTRALIA - Profile - Julie Anderson
          • Book Review - Climbing Rock
          • CHINA - From Yangshuo, to Getu, to Liming
          • FRANCE - Verdon in Winter
          • GREECE - Meteora
          • ITALY - Dolomites
          • MEXICO - La Huasteca
          • SPAIN - Artist - Karmelo Onate
          • UTAH - Maple Canyon: This One Makes You Taller
        • Honoring Diversity >
          • ARTIST: Shawn Lee
          • A Shift on Moonlight Buttress
          • Claiming a Space on the Mountain
          • Colorblind
          • Feature Photographer: Bryan Sillorequez
          • Is Diversity in America Diverse?
          • MOVIE: People of Climbing:
          • Profile - Favia Dubyk
          • The Lineage
        • Joshua Tree >
          • Bouldering: JTree Made Me Do It
          • Improv at JTree: Bad Bolts
          • JTree: Bolting Pressure Cooker
          • Joshua Tree: Heinous Approaches
        • Overcoming Boundaries >
          • Photographer - Brook Anderson
          • Profile - Louise Shepherd
          • Profile - Megan Banker
          • Profile - Shawn Axelrod
          • Rock Type 1
          • The Tape Job
        • Women's Edition >
          • Editorial - Women's Edition
          • Climbing is My Art
          • Mt. Logan Solo
          • Photographer - Michelle Ranee Johnson
          • Profile - Caitlin Schokker
      • Non-Themed Editions >
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        • January 2021
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        • April 2021
    • Topics >
      • Adaptive Climbing >
        • Adaptive Climbing Edition
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        • Quinn Brett Interview
        • My Journey to Adaptive Rock Climbing
        • Planning for Mt. Rainier: Adaptive Climbing
        • Resources - Adaptive Climbing
      • Alpine & Ice >
        • California Still Has Untouched Climbing Wilderness
        • Ice Solo
        • Mt. Ogden Spanking
        • Mt. Whitney Whipping
        • My Common Alpine Epic
        • Vertical Ice Climbing in Ontario, Canada, eh?
      • CC Profile >
        • Profile - Shawn Axelrod
        • Profile - Megan Banker
        • Profile: Wendy Bruere - More Than It Hurts
        • Profile - Favia Dubyk
        • Profile - Debbie Fowler
        • Profile - Lindsey Hamm
        • Profile - Sabine Pratt Hunziker
        • PROFILE - Marisa Michael - Nutrition for Climbers
        • Profile - Caitlin Schokker
        • Profile - Louise Shepherd
      • CoVID and Climbing >
        • COVID Climbing Memes
        • CoVID-19 Remakes Our Lives
        • Dear Memory
        • From Couch to Lifting Couches
        • How to Climb and Avoid the Corona Virus
        • Train the Mind: Mental Toughness Tips for Quaratraining
        • The 5.10 Commandments
        • Trying to Send this Route
      • Equipment (writings) >
        • Aliens!
        • A Rack Retrospective
        • Cam Ranges (+ Big Bros)
        • Carabiner Strength Ratings
        • Climbing Shoes Fit
        • Guide Book Follies
        • Rope Buying 101
        • Shit Happens – Or, Why You Need a Walkie Talkie
        • The One Item to Stockpile
        • Which Way Should I Carry My Trad Rack?
        • Why GriGris Suck
        • 8 Reasons I Carry a Full Rack on Every Trad Climb
      • Facebook Feature >
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        • FF: Welcome New Climbers
      • Grades, Styles, & Types >
        • Bouldering-Falling
        • Bouldering Grade Advancements
        • Grading Climbs at the Gym
        • It's a F-ing Chimney
        • Onsight vs Flash vs Etc...
        • Top 10: Increase the Climbing Grade When...
        • Trad Climbing is for Chicken Sh*#s
        • WTF 5.7?
        • 18 Climber Types: Which Are You?
      • Kids >
        • Family Stages
        • The Guidebook
      • Legends >
        • B - Joe Brown
        • G - Brad Gobright
        • G - Todd Gordon
        • H - Hugh Herr
        • H - Thomas Huber - In Another World - A Personal Climbing Journey
        • J - Saxon Johns
        • M - Tim Macartney-Snape: ​A Legend from Sea to Summit
        • M - John Middendorf
      • Mental-Physical >
        • Climbing Training Series >
          • Improving Hip Mobility
          • Rock Climber Mobility
          • Train the Mind: Mental Toughness Tips for Quaratraining
        • A Climb Worth Fighting For
        • Achilles
        • Everyone Around Me Is Better Than I Am
        • Fear, Pride, and Exploration
        • How Auto-Immune Disease Affected My Climbing
        • Mastering Joy on Easy Street
        • Mind, Body, and Soul
        • My Demon Has a Name
        • New Year's Resolutions
        • Of Cartoons and Quickdraws
        • Push and Pull
        • Sorcerer and the Kidney Stone
        • Take Risks - You'll Remember Them Later
        • The Art of Climbing Without Rock
        • The Devil's Game
        • The Eye
        • The Taste of Climbing
        • 12-Weeks to Onsighting a 5.8
      • Other/Misc >
        • Assault on Schurman Rock
        • Book Club
        • Climbing, Community, and the U.S. Presidential Election
        • Climbing Drinking Games
        • Climbing Gyms: The Gateway Drug
        • Climbing Hands
        • Climbing in the Bare Essentials
        • Climbing Resolutions
        • Demented Dirtbag
        • Don't Take Granite for Granite
        • Dorothy, We Aren't on Havana Anymore
        • Guatemalan Worry Dolls Go Climbing
        • No Health Insurance Changed How I Climb
        • Snakes and Ladders
        • Starting Over
        • The Adventure of A Lifetime - So Far
        • The Bane of Northwest Climbing
        • The Pink Tricam
        • Things of Stone and Wood
        • We Were Just Boys
        • Zac the Interloper
      • Places & Climbs >
        • Climbs >
          • Consolation Prize
          • Flakes and Shakes: Flake Crack Revisited
          • From Yorkshire to Eternity
          • Tiptoeing Through Some Bungles
          • Tombstone Territory
          • Yosemite - What We Came For
        • Location Reviews
        • My Home Crag >
          • Climbing in the Upper Cumberland Valley, Kentucky
          • Drytooling in the Rain - Wayne's World, WA
          • My Home Crag: Nowra, NSW, Australia
          • The Kenyan Climber
        • Travel Stories >
          • Blue Mountains - Bliss: Climbing in the Blueys
          • Buenos Aires, Argentina Crag
          • Colorado - Calling Pat Ament
          • Coolum Cave - Sendfest 8
          • Ecuador - A Nation of Four Worlds
          • Egypt: The Sinai Sampler
          • El Potrero Chico - Riding the Dirty Dog
          • Yosemite: Growing Up
          • Lover's Leap - Zone of Craptitude
          • Rio de Janeiro - Classic Climbs Sampler
          • Taghia, Morocco - Hardly Failing
          • Tasmania - Legend of the ‘Unclimbable Cliff’
          • Thailand - Lost and Found: A Mini-Epic in Paradise
          • Vedauwoo, WY
          • Yosemite - What We Came For
          • 20 World Destinations for Adventurous Climbing
        • 2020 U.S. Rock Climbing Festivals
      • Poetry/Prose >
        • Anti-Social Climbers
        • Sojourn at Dyuritte
        • Finding Poetry
        • Ice is Nice
        • The Space Between
      • Safety and Skills >
        • Bolting and Ground-Fall Potential
        • Euro-Death Knot is NOT
        • Multi-Pitch Tips: Two ATCs
        • Sketchy Anchor Bolts
        • Sliding-X Anchor
        • Three Ways to Use a Stick Clip
        • Top 10: Climbing Best Practices
      • Science Fiction >
        • Red Curtain: Prologue
      • Social, Social Media, & Social Issues >
        • Chossy Trio Renegades
        • Climbing into the Fold
        • Diversity in Climbing is Not a Bandwagon
        • Fuck "Gumbies" and "Noobs"
        • Montana, My Home: Claire Larson
        • My Husband Climbs Stronger than Me
        • Navajo Rising
        • Social Network Rescue
  • Marketplace
    • Butora
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    • Climb-On Maps
    • Dynamite Starfish
    • FIXEhardware
    • Furnace Industries
    • Grimpi
    • Heroclip
    • MoveWell with McGee
    • Mystery Ranch
    • Neilico
    • NW Alpine
    • Rockytalkies
    • Tension Climbing
  • Reviews
    • Books >
      • Advanced Rock Climbing Book Review
      • Adventures at the Edge of the World
      • Climbing Rock: Vertical Explorations Across North America
      • Hangdog Days Book Review
      • HOOKING UP: The Ultimate Big Wall and Aid Climbing Manual
      • Paul Preuss: Lord of the Abyss
      • The Sharp End of Life: A Mother's Story - Book Review
    • Equipment/Gear Reviews >
      • Belay Device Review >
        • Edelrid Mega Jul
      • Harnesses >
        • ArcTeryx-FL-365
        • Misty Mountain Cadillac
      • Packs and Bags >
        • Sukoa Chalk Bag Review
        • Trango Crag Pack
      • Personal Anchor Systems >
        • Camp-Daisy-Twist
        • Petzl-Dual-Adjust
      • Other >
        • Dr. Piton's Review of the D4 Delta2P Portaledge
    • Location Reviews >
      • Australia >
        • Queensland, Australia >
          • Kangaroo Point Photos and Beta
          • Kangaroo Point Review
        • New South Wales Australia >
          • Blue Mountains >
            • Blue Mountains Photos and Beta
            • Blue Mountains Review
          • Nowra >
            • Nowra Review >
              • Nowra Photos and Beta
      • Mexico >
        • Potrero Chico Photos and Beta
        • Potrero Chico Review
      • United States >
        • Climbing Area Check List - U.S. >
          • Climbing Area Check List Part 1: Alabama to California
          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 2: Colorado to Michigan
          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 3: Minnesota to New Mexico
          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 4: New York to Wyoming
        • Arizona >
          • Queen Creek Canyon
        • California >
          • Joshua Tree >
            • Joshua Tree Tips
          • Mount Whitney >
            • Mount Whitney Photos and Beta
        • Idaho >
          • City of Rocks >
            • City of Rocks Photos and Beta
            • City of Rocks Review
        • Oregon >
          • Smith Rock >
            • Smith Rock - Photos and Beta
            • Smith Rock Review
          • Spring Mountain >
            • Spring Mountain Review
            • Spring Mountain - Photos and Beta
          • Trout Creek >
            • Trout Creek Photos and Beta
            • Trout Creek Review
        • Nevada >
          • Gun Club
          • Keyhole Canyon
          • Mt. Charleston, Nevada
          • Red Rock Canyon >
            • Red Rock Canyon Review - Yeahs and Neahs
            • Red Rocks Photos and Beta
        • New Hampshire >
          • North Conway, NH
          • Rumney, NH
        • New York >
          • Gunks Review
        • Utah >
          • Echo Canyon
          • Ferguson Canyon >
            • Ferguson Canyon Photos and Beta
            • Ferguson Canyon Review
          • Ibex >
            • Ibex Photos and Beta
            • Ibex Review
          • Maple Canyon >
            • Maple Canyon, Utah Photos and Beta
            • Maple Canyon Review
          • Moab >
            • Moab - Main - Photos and Beta
            • Moab -Main - Review
          • St. George >
            • St. George - Prophesy Wall- Photos and Beta
            • St. George - Prophesy Wall - Review
        • West Virginia >
          • Seneca Rocks
        • Wyoming >
          • Ten Sleep
  • Photographers & Artists
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      • Dave Barnes Extended Bio
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    • D - Stefani Dawn
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    • T- Frothy Thomson
    • T - Wil Treasure
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    • W - Kirby Walke
    • W - Hugh Ward
    • W - Wayne Willoughby
    • W - Lani Wilson
    • Z - Peter Zabrok