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Demented Dirtbag


​
By Dave Barnes
Photo credit: Kamil Sustiak
In most climbing places you pass through, especially ones of pilgrimage, you will come across those demented ones that the mountains just can’t let go. The scruffy looking peeps who have darkened hands from anodised carabiners, weird looking toes from being cramped in climbing shoes for way too long and blunt everything’s, from ice axes to pocket knives. They have scavenged hands from getting their jam in cracks. These climbers have given up on normal and live for the climb. These demented ones are The Dirtbags. 

Climb big or climb small, the best dirtbags I ever encountered were at Mount Arapiles, Australia. They were a dirty dozen with campsites that made hobo’s look rich. The Dirtbags scavenge for food among the campsite and in the supermarket bins at Horsham. They walked tight ropes by camp fires to impress the girls and talked Italian to finish the deal over a bottle of $6 wine and a can of tuna. 

The poor climber is a universal figure. Like a police line up the Dirtbag is easily identified. Come day break at crags all over the world their opposite, the eager beavers, gear up. Cashed up climbers with shiny carabiners connected to quickdraws lined up in symmetry on unfaded harnesses. They wake at the sparrows first fart to get their climbs done and as many as is possible. Those folks know the clock is ticking and the grind will call them back to resume their clockwork orange on Monday. 

The Dirtbags?  Their ropes hang on tree branches - wine skins lay by burnt stubs next to an extinguished fire place.  They are one sock lost asleep. Dirtbags answer to no one and seek only four things when they wake from their faded tent;
  1. A piss
  2. Some food
  3. The guidebook. 
  4. A return to the bag. 

Why make climbing complicated?

“Whatsup Bro?” Says one Dirtbag to another. The other Dirtbags look up. There is a cloud in the sky. Discussion is had, decisions are made. 

“Chance of rain.” Back to the sleeping bag both Dirtbags go. 

I have driven past Dirtbag Street at crags the world over but did not stop. Looking through the lens of a white middle class life I realize with great shame, I totally screwed up. I chose the safe path; work, car and weekend warrior. What I should have done was fill my car with climbing kit, then let the road and the people that intersect the two determine my tomorrow. I could have/would have practiced the calm art of  Dirtbag philosophy - live simple climb often and let the dirt be me cushion and the cliff be my lover. I didn’t. I took the road more traveled by. 

Either way for climbers the path leads you to the base of a crag. Some crags and mountains have uber status and some are  just best forgotten. The Dirtbag finds honey where a weekend worrier will see choss. A Dirtbag sees the crack in the glacier where the tailored party sees only snow. Beneath that mat of greasy dreadlocks is a brain that is a fine tuned climbing commando. 

Being a long timer is not all about climbing by necessity, they are resourceful. I know dirtbags as Monday and Thursday people. On Monday when the weekend warriors return to the paper chase the dirtbags rat around the camp site checking out what campers have left behind. Garbage bins are checked for left over food. There’s also the chance of an odd piece of gear. Back it goes to the camp squat and thrown in a corner or in an ice-box in order of importance. A magazine, book or newspaper often on top. Thursdays are Centrelink pay days and the raggedy dude will find his cleaner shirt and jeans and hitch a ride to Horsham to restock the big stuff or into Natimuk for the little stuff like a milkshake, some beers and some chalk.  At the nearby Caravan Park he or she will have the best stuff - a shower and hot water. Luxury. The Centrelink Dirtback is cashed up on Thursday and Dirtbags from other nations all can into the van to drive into town for an evening sitting at the pub. 

The Dirtbag is well conversed in knowledge gleaned from random partners on countless climbs. With that comes stories. Cheap wine and large campfires make him look like Merlin and his stories and character cast a spell over all the clean folks seeking a taste of adventure. 
 
I bet that if you go back into the closet of climbing memory you will draw out a Dirtbag memory. Of time spent as one or hanging with one. I also bet that long drive in a beat up van, sharing that crazy pitch, questioning the rag tag kit and listening to crazy dialogue shared with a Dirtbags on some obscure summit is now written across your heart.

Men and women who sacrifice their all for their craft are artists. Great bullshit artists too, but they can because they have - lived. A beer shared with a dirtbag is equivalent  to a case shared with a neighbour. The Dirtbag in their nothingness shows the rest of us what dedication and passion is. It smells of sweat and lives for the moment. In giving away everything for the climb. The Dirtbag has captured everything that climbing has to offer. Now that’s symmetry, bro. 

As ugly as but as lovely as. The Dirtbag climber, come alpine drifter, come crag campsite talking guidebook. That climber in the moment  is living the dream. The Dirtbag is climbing like there is no need for tomorrow because the climber they are on and the mountain they are on is enough. 

“Don that rope, Michilan Man. It’s time to go climbing.” With that the climb from the straight world walks forward in the shadow of the scruffy one who lives, because it is there. Both of them adding colour to the climb that is to come.  


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        • Zac the Interloper
        • Book Review: Uncoiling the Ropes
        • Belaytionships: Drew-and-Sarah
        • This page has been removed
        • I Am My Father's Son: Layton Bridwell
      • Big Wall Edition >
        • Book Review: Paul Preuss: Lord of the Abyss
        • Featured Photographer: Matt Spohn
        • Grading Commitment
        • Hanging with the Monkeys, and Getting the Monkey Off My Back
        • It Was His Time: Brad Gobright Interview May 2019
        • John Middendorf : A Big Man for a Big Stone
        • Sébastien Berthe Free Climbs the Nose From the Ground Up
        • Shit Happens – Or, Why You Need a Walkie Talkie
      • Developers and Guidebook Authors >
        • Developer - Mitch Lehman
        • Andrew Penny - A Blue Mountaineer
        • Kevin Powell
        • Rock Star Groupie
        • Tony Calderone
      • Exploring Our World >
        • AUSTRALIA - Photographer - Diego Perez
        • AUSTRALIA - Profile - Julie Anderson
        • Book Review - Climbing Rock
        • CHINA - From Yangshuo, to Getu, to Liming
        • FRANCE - Verdon in Winter
        • GREECE - Meteora
        • ITALY - Dolomites
        • MEXICO - La Huasteca
        • SPAIN - Artist - Karmelo Onate
        • UTAH - Maple Canyon: This One Makes You Taller
      • Farewell Edition >
        • D-Monica Dalmasso Photographer
        • Don't Fall
        • Gorge Country
        • Matheson Brown - There's a Bear in There
        • Piqued by Peaks
        • Progress
        • Remembering Common Climber
        • The Journey is Everything
      • Firsts... and Last >
        • A Tale of Oso Madre
        • Clayton Herrmann - Featured Photographer
        • Rysavy Ridge >
          • The Migrant Pom on Rysavy Ridge
          • Throng of Roland
          • Fast Forward - Rysavy Ridge Revisited
        • The Three Sisters
      • Honoring Diversity >
        • ARTIST: Shawn Lee
        • A Shift on Moonlight Buttress
        • Claiming a Space on the Mountain
        • Colorblind
        • Feature Photographer: Bryan Sillorequez
        • Is Diversity in America Diverse?
        • MOVIE: People of Climbing:
        • Profile - Favia Dubyk
        • The Lineage
      • Humor
      • Joshua Tree >
        • Bouldering: JTree Made Me Do It
        • Improv at JTree: Bad Bolts
        • JTree: Bolting Pressure Cooker
        • Joshua Tree: Heinous Approaches
      • Old and New >
        • Climb Harder Book Review
        • Night Cap - The Plan
        • A Grand Night Cap
        • Fiasco on the Grand Cap - 1969
        • Jusant - Climbing Video Game
        • S - Mike Stone
        • Vietnam - Yen Thinh
        • 2023 - Reflection
      • Overcoming Adversity >
        • Acopa Outdoors
        • Anoushe Husain
        • Failure is Part of the Price: Rand Abbott Attempts the First Adaptive Lead Ascent of The Nose
        • Overcoming a Brain Tumor: WeighMyRack Founder Interview: Alison Dennis
        • Rising
        • The Mountain Path Book Review
      • Overcoming Boundaries >
        • Photographer - Brook Anderson
        • Profile - Louise Shepherd
        • Profile - Megan Banker
        • Profile - Shawn Axelrod
        • Rock Type 1
        • The Tape Job
      • Strength Edition >
        • Effective Training: Are You Getting Stronger or Just Getting Tired?
        • In Praise of Mustang Coffee
        • More: Life on the Edge of Adventure and Motherhood
        • Mother Earth: One of Australia's Hardest Natural Lines
        • My Husband Climbs Stronger than Me
        • She has a Name: Mary Catherine Eden
        • Train the Mind: Mental Toughness Tips
      • Women's Edition >
        • Editorial - Women's Edition
        • Climbing is My Art
        • Mt. Logan Solo
        • Photographer - Michelle Ranee Johnson
        • Profile - Caitlin Schokker
  • Writing
    • All Writings (List)
    • Topics >
      • Adaptive Climbing >
        • Adaptive Climbing Edition
        • El Capitan: Enock Glidden
        • Failure is Part of the Price: Rand Abbott Attempts the First Adaptive Lead Ascent of The Nose
        • Jean
        • Quinn Brett Interview
        • My Journey to Adaptive Rock Climbing
        • Planning for Mt. Rainier: Adaptive Climbing
        • Resources - Adaptive Climbing
        • Adaptive Climbing: It's About Climbing Independence
      • Alpine & Ice >
        • A Chamonix Initiation
        • California Still Has Untouched Climbing Wilderness
        • Double Sevens
        • Elusive Ice - A Rare Tasmanian Treat
        • Ice Solo
        • Mt. Logan Solo
        • Mt. Ogden Spanking
        • Mt. Whitney Whipping
        • My Common Alpine Epic
        • Nick Would
        • The Dru Derby >
          • Horses for Courses - The Dru Derby 1971
          • My Dru Derby
          • The North Face of the Dru - Chris Baxter
        • Vertical Ice Climbing in Ontario, Canada, eh?
      • Profiles
      • Comics >
        • Master and his Apprentice
        • Totem Pole 2082
        • The Video - Comic
      • CoVID and Climbing >
        • COVID Climbing Memes
        • CoVID-19 Remakes Our Lives
        • Dear Memory
        • From Couch to Lifting Couches
        • How to Climb and Avoid the Corona Virus
        • The 5.10 Commandments
        • Trying to Send this Route
      • Equipment (writings) >
        • Aliens!
        • A Rack Retrospective
        • Cam Ranges (+ Big Bros)
        • Carabiner Strength Ratings
        • Climbing Shoes Fit
        • Guide Book Follies
        • Rope Buying 101
        • Shit Happens – Or, Why You Need a Walkie Talkie
        • The One Item to Stockpile
        • Which Way Should I Carry My Trad Rack?
        • Why GriGris Suck
        • 8 Reasons I Carry a Full Rack on Every Trad Climb
      • Facebook Feature >
        • FF: Big Walls
        • FF: Butt Shots
        • FF: Exploring Our World
        • FF: Overcoming Boundaries
        • FF: Trees & Climbing
        • FF: Welcome New Climbers
      • Fiction >
        • GOD
        • Red Curtain: Prologue & Chapter 1 Excerpt
      • Gift Ideas >
        • Climbing Goods
        • Climbing Stocking Stuffers
        • Rock Stack Card Game
        • Safety Gifts
      • Grades, Styles, & Types >
        • Absolutely Hypothetical: Introducing the Graham Scale
        • Bouldering-Falling
        • Bouldering Grade Advancements
        • Grading Climbs at the Gym
        • It's a F-ing Chimney
        • Onsight vs Flash vs Etc...
        • Top 10: Increase the Climbing Grade When...
        • Trad Climbing is for Chicken Sh*#s
        • WTF 5.7?
        • 18 Climber Types: Which Are You?
      • Kids >
        • Family Stages
        • The Guidebook
      • Legends & Tributes >
        • A - Bryden Allen
        • B - The Bell's Line: The Keith Bell Story
        • B - John Brailsford Tribute - The Immaculate MOAC
        • B - Joe Brown
        • C - Cutcliffe - The Boy from Bothwell – A Tribute to Max Cutcliffe, an Australian Legend
        • F - Doug Fife
        • G - Brad Gobright
        • G - Todd Gordon
        • H - Hugh Herr
        • H - Thomas Huber - In Another World - A Personal Climbing Journey
        • J - Saxon Johns
        • M - Tim Macartney-Snape: ​A Legend from Sea to Summit
        • M - John Middendorf
        • R - Early to Rock: David Roots
        • S- Paul Seddon - From a Nut to a Harness: A Tribute to Paul Seddon, The Third Troll
        • W - Alan Watts: A Smith Rock Legacy
      • Mental-Physical >
        • Climbing Training Series >
          • Climbing Warm-Up: Shoulders & Fingers
          • Effective Training: Are You Getting Stronger or Just Getting Tired?
          • Improving Hip Mobility
          • Rock Climber Mobility
          • Train the Mind: Mental Toughness Tips
      • Other/Misc
      • Places & Climbs >
        • Climbs >
          • Consolation Prize
          • Echo Crack and Cracked Egos
          • Email From Italy
          • Flakes and Shakes: Flake Crack Revisited
          • From Yorkshire to Eternity
          • I Like Fake Cracks (And I Cannot Lie)
          • Le Temps Suspendu - Suspended in Time
          • Lost Boys Meets Hard Boys >
            • The Lost Boys: The Epic First Ascent of Mount Warning's Wollumbin Shield
          • Mont Blanc: Climbing the Best Granite Cracks in Europe
          • Ozymandias Direct - Fifty Years of Fun and Games
          • Sierra's Volcanic Plug: Da-ek dow Go-et
          • Supreme Jumbo Love
          • The Fourth Bolt of Texas Radio
          • The Matterhorn
          • Thumbing The Nose at Mr. CF Jingus
          • Tiptoeing Through Some Bungles
          • Tombstone Territory
          • Yosemite - What We Came For
        • Location Reviews
        • My Home Crag >
          • Climbing in the Upper Cumberland Valley, Kentucky
          • Colors of the Climb
          • Copen Hill Climbing Wall
          • Donegal Sea Stacks
          • Drytooling in the Rain - Wayne's World, WA
          • New River Gorge, West Virgina
          • My Home Crag: Nowra, NSW, Australia
          • The Kenyan Climber
        • Travel Stories
      • Poetry/Prose >
        • A Bard of Yosemite
        • Anti-Social Climbers
        • Feeding the Rat
        • Finding Poetry
        • Ice is Nice
        • Sojourn at Dyuritte
        • The Space Between
      • Puzzles, Games, & Fun! >
        • Climbing Drinking Games
        • Crossword - Strength Edition
        • Memes by Bad Beta Bouldering
        • The OG Aussie Klimber
        • 12-Weeks to Onsighting a 5.8
      • Safety and Skills >
        • Bolting and Ground-Fall Potential
        • Euro-Death Knot is NOT
        • Multi-Pitch Tips: Two ATCs
        • Sketchy Anchor Bolts
        • Sliding-X Anchor
        • Three Ways to Use a Stick Clip
        • Top 10: Climbing Best Practices
      • Social, Social Media, & Social Issues
  • Marketplace
    • Acopa Outdoors
    • Butora
    • Climbing Addicts Colored Chalk >
      • Climbing Addicts Chalk Has New Owners - 2023 Interview
    • Climb-On Maps
    • Dynamite Starfish
    • Elira - No Need to Strip, Just Unzip
    • FIXEhardware
    • Furnace Industries
    • Heroclip
    • Lacaida Ropes
    • Mountain Drifter
    • MoveWell with McGee
    • Mystery Ranch
    • Neilico
    • NW Alpine
    • Rockytalkies
    • SLAPCHALKS
    • Tension Climbing
    • Tera Kaia
  • Reviews
    • Book Reviews >
      • A-H Book Reviews >
        • A Light Through the Cracks Review
        • Advanced Rock Climbing Book Review
        • Adventures at the Edge of the World
        • Climb - Book Review
        • Climb Harder Book Review
        • Climbing Glass Book Review
        • Climbing Rock: Vertical Explorations Across North America
        • Climbing Wild - Book Review
        • Freiheit - Book Review
        • Hangdog Days Book Review
        • HOOKING UP: The Ultimate Big Wall and Aid Climbing Manual
      • M-Y Book Reviews >
        • More: Life on the Edge of Adventure and Motherhood
        • Paul Preuss: Lord of the Abyss
        • Pen Llŷn: The Most Dangerous Book in the World
        • Red Curtain - Book Review
        • Royal Robbins - The American Climber Book Review
        • States of Adventure Review
        • Sydney Climbing - Book Review
        • The Art of Climbing - Review
        • The Greater Fool - Brad Gobright and the Blinding Shine of Originality
        • The Mountain Path Book Review
        • The Sharp End of Life: A Mother's Story - Book Review
        • Uncoiling the Ropes
        • Valley of Giants
        • Yosemite Bigwalls: The Ultimate Guide Review
    • Equipment/Gear Reviews >
      • Belay Device Review >
        • Edelrid Mega Jul
      • Harness Reviews >
        • ArcTeryx-FL-365
        • Misty Mountain Cadillac
      • Packs and Bags >
        • Sukoa Chalk Bag Review
        • Trango Crag Pack
      • Personal Anchor Systems >
        • Camp-Daisy-Twist
        • Petzl-Dual-Adjust
      • Other Gear Reviews >
        • D4 Delta2P Portaledge
        • Skyhook Stick Clip Review
    • Location Reviews >
      • Australia >
        • Queensland, Australia >
          • Kangaroo Point Photos and Beta
          • Kangaroo Point Review
        • New South Wales Australia >
          • Blue Mountains >
            • Blue Mountains Photos and Beta
            • Blue Mountains Review
          • Nowra >
            • Nowra Review >
              • Nowra Photos and Beta
      • Mexico >
        • Potrero Chico Photos and Beta
        • Potrero Chico Review
      • United States >
        • Climbing Area Check List - U.S. >
          • Climbing Area Check List Part 1: Alabama to California
          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 2: Colorado to Michigan
          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 3: Minnesota to New Mexico
          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 4: New York to Wyoming
        • Arizona >
          • Queen Creek Canyon
        • California >
          • Joshua Tree >
            • Joshua Tree Tips
          • Mount Whitney >
            • Mount Whitney Photos and Beta
        • Idaho
        • Oregon >
          • Smith Rock >
            • Smith Rock - Photos and Beta
            • Smith Rock Review
          • Spring Mountain >
            • Spring Mountain Review
            • Spring Mountain - Photos and Beta
          • Trout Creek >
            • Trout Creek Photos and Beta
            • Trout Creek Review
        • Nevada >
          • Gun Club
          • Keyhole Canyon
          • Mt. Charleston, Nevada
          • Red Rock Canyon >
            • Red Rock Canyon Review - Yeahs and Neahs
            • Red Rock Canyon Photos and Beta
        • New Hampshire >
          • North Conway, NH
          • Rumney, NH
        • New York >
          • Gunks Review
        • Utah >
          • Echo Canyon
          • Ferguson Canyon >
            • Ferguson Canyon Photos and Beta
            • Ferguson Canyon Review
          • Ibex >
            • Ibex Photos and Beta
            • Ibex Review
          • Maple Canyon >
            • Maple Canyon, Utah Photos and Beta
            • Maple Canyon Review
          • Moab >
            • Moab - Main - Photos and Beta
            • Moab -Main - Review
          • St. George >
            • St. George - Prophesy Wall- Photos and Beta
            • St. George - Prophesy Wall - Review
        • West Virginia >
          • Seneca Rocks
        • Wyoming >
          • Ten Sleep
  • Photographers & Artists
    • A-F - Photographers and Artists >
      • A - Gustavo Acosta - Photographer
      • A- Brook Anderson
      • B - Florian Beyer
      • B - Michael Blowers
      • B - Phillip Booth
      • B - Guillaume Borga
      • B - Michaël Bortoluzzi
      • B - Michael Bretz
      • C - Karen Chan
      • C - Matt Cunningham
      • D-Monica Dalmasso Photographer
      • D - Daga Dygas
      • E- Mary Catherine Eden
      • F - Eric Fallecker
    • G-N - Photographers and Artists >
      • G - Katherine González
      • G - Max Gordon
      • H - Clayton Herrmann
      • J - Michelle Ranee Johnson
      • K - Jethro Kiernan
      • K - Christine Kuebler
      • L - Jim Lawyer - Everyone Needs a Lawyer: Profile of Climber & Photographer, Jim Lawyer
      • L - Shawn Lee Illustrator
      • L - LieseLotte P
      • L - Jim Lin
      • M - Lindsey Mathewson
      • M - Alex Mauss Design
      • M - Adam McClatchie - Mile High Media House
      • M - Alex Messenger
      • N - Tiffany Nardico
    • O-Z- Photographers and Artists >
      • O - Charlie OlGrady-Kessner
      • O - Karmelo Onate
      • O - Camila Ospina
      • P - Diego Perez
      • S - Charlie S.
      • S - Xavi Sanchez - Climbing Comic
      • S - Helmut Schulze
      • S - Bryan Sillorequez
      • S - Stephen Smithburger
      • S - Matt Spohn
      • V - Laura Vallo
      • W - Joel Wilson
      • Z - Eson Zhao
  • JOIN!
  • Submissions
  • About Common Climber
    • Why I Started Common Climber
    • Advisory Board
    • Welcome Dave Barnes!
  • Authors
    • A-F >
      • B - Stephanie Bahnsen
      • B - Alex Barlow
      • B - Dave Barnes >
        • Dave Barnes Extended Bio
      • B - Austin Beck-Doss
      • B - Keith Bell
      • B - Brianna Boney
      • C - Massimo Cappuccio
      • C - Carrot
      • C - Radek Chalupa
      • C - Lyle Closs
      • C - Erin Collins
      • C - James Crump
      • D - Stefani Dawn
      • D - Derek DeBruin
      • D - Nick Ducker
      • F - Tony Ferrar
    • G-O >
      • G - Joshua G
      • G - Leesa Gallia
      • G - Naomi Gibbs
      • G - Geoffrey Gledhill
      • G - Enock Glidden
      • G - Max Gordon (Contributor)
      • H - Grey Hensley
      • H - Bavali "Megs" Hill
      • H - Michael Hjorth
      • M - Henk Morgans
      • J - Jonathan
      • K - Dylan Kilby
      • K- Melissa Kline
      • K - Christine Kuebler
      • L - Mike Lewis
      • L - Kaybe Loughran
      • M - Collin McGee
      • M - Tony McKenny
      • M - Aaron Mike
      • M - Rick Momsen
      • M - Jesse Montgomery
      • O - Maggie Odette
    • P-Z >
      • P - Jorge Packer
      • P - Emilie Pellerin
      • P - Brice Pollock
      • P - Paul Pritchard
      • R - Monique Richard
      • R - Juan Rodriguez
      • S - Lor Sabourin
      • S - Jess Sanson
      • S - Hendrik Schaal
      • S - Jeff Smoot
      • T- Frothy Thomson
      • T - Wil Treasure
      • T - Matt Tredway
      • T - Natalia (Tal) Tune
      • W - Kirby Walke
      • W - Hugh Ward
      • W - Stuart Williams
      • W - Wayne Willoughby
      • W - Lani Wilson
      • W - Dierdre Wolownick
      • Z - Peter Zabrok
  • Videos
  • Climbing Events 2023