Cover photo credit: Brook Anderson
Approaching a new year brings with it a mental game. Over the years I have noticed a downward trend of excitement for setting New Year’s resolutions. As a health coach I understand that new resolutions are part of goal setting, and goals are a part of living with purpose.
Dreaming, hope, and faith are part of our humanity. Dreaming and hoping are what differentiate existing from truly living. I believe this is why you shouldn’t give up on setting New Year’s resolutions. In this article I will share from a coaching perspective how to authentically create and successfully implement New Year’s resolutions by letting go, addressing your belief system, realigning with your dreams, implementing them, and not getting attached to the outcome.
Dreaming, hope, and faith are part of our humanity. Dreaming and hoping are what differentiate existing from truly living. I believe this is why you shouldn’t give up on setting New Year’s resolutions. In this article I will share from a coaching perspective how to authentically create and successfully implement New Year’s resolutions by letting go, addressing your belief system, realigning with your dreams, implementing them, and not getting attached to the outcome.
Let Go
Before we can begin to dream of new possibilities for 2021, we must let go of 2020. After winter solstice is a time of letting go and making room for the new. This last year has brought with it a myriad of emotions. We have experienced loneliness, pain, disappointment, suffering, and even death. Even so, it has stirred up an awakening. Heroes have risen, social justice warriors have been awakened, and communities have banded together in a way they never have before.
Paulo Coelho wrote beautifully in The Alchemist about the journey to achieving our personal legend (our dreams). He writes, “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” The main character in this book is on a journey to follow his dream. Along the way he encounters many choices where he has to give up control, comfort, and normalcy. He chooses to have faith and hope in pursuit of his dream, which ultimately leads him to his personal legend.
This book reminds me that when we take a leap of faith towards our dream (if we press on and believe) it will be rewarded, though it is usually marked first with loss, pain, despair, or brokenness. The reward usually goes beyond our expectations.
This year has forced us to build resilience, and in our pain we have all come out with a deeper understanding of ourselves. In order to move forward, creating action that compels us toward our goals, we must let go of what is holding us back from success and begin to trust.
A few things you may choose to let go of are:
In their place you can learn to trust:
Paulo Coelho wrote beautifully in The Alchemist about the journey to achieving our personal legend (our dreams). He writes, “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” The main character in this book is on a journey to follow his dream. Along the way he encounters many choices where he has to give up control, comfort, and normalcy. He chooses to have faith and hope in pursuit of his dream, which ultimately leads him to his personal legend.
This book reminds me that when we take a leap of faith towards our dream (if we press on and believe) it will be rewarded, though it is usually marked first with loss, pain, despair, or brokenness. The reward usually goes beyond our expectations.
This year has forced us to build resilience, and in our pain we have all come out with a deeper understanding of ourselves. In order to move forward, creating action that compels us toward our goals, we must let go of what is holding us back from success and begin to trust.
A few things you may choose to let go of are:
- Limiting beliefs
- Hate
- Outcomes
- Unworthiness
- Failure
In their place you can learn to trust:
- Affirmations
- Love
- Faith
- Belonging
- Learning
Address Your Belief SystemIt is my mission to serve my clients by helping them with behavior change and improved performance, energy, and joy. To do this work, actions must be traced back to the source; thoughts. Our thoughts are born of beliefs and pre-existing thought patterns.
Before gaining the ability to change behavior, you must first address your belief system. You must rewire your brain. This can be done on a macro and micro scale. On the macro side you may address your core values, strengths, and dreams. These are big picture items, like bones, that hold your structure. On the micro scale you must address what you believe about yourself and your capabilities. Both macro and micro are equally important. You limited yourself by your thoughts and patterns of thinking. This is why it is so important to take your thoughts captive and replace limiting beliefs with new thoughts to support your dream. We are all capable of much more than we think. I believe we all have desires that are placed inside of us, and nothing can stop us from achieving them if we try.
If you want more information on brain re-wiring you can download my free Guide for Rewiring Your Brain and Taking Action. |
Author Briana Boney climbing in Red Rock Canyon, Nevada. Photo Credit: Brook Anderson.
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Realign
What are you resolving to do? Once you have gone through the process of letting go and addressing your belief system, you can get clarity on what you truly want. The beginning of a new year is a special time to take advantage of motivation and nostalgia and take inventory of all areas of life.
Observe yourself in the following areas and write down what you care most:
Observe yourself in the following areas and write down what you care most:
- Career
- Family relationships
- Spirituality
- Health
- Finances
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Next, take those things and connect them to your values. Your value for integrity, altruism, faith, etc. Aligning with your goals may seem daunting, but there are ways to get connected and plugged in. One way is through journaling. Here are some helpful journal prompts:
Life altering changes typically do not start with a list of instructions. They begin with a powerful question and self-reflection. Ask yourself if each choice aligns with your resolution as you head into the new year. You can never go wrong asking yourself good questions. |
Health, life, and fitness coach Brianna Boney encouraging us to realign using journaling. Photo Credit: Karissa Russ
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Prepare
People don’t fail at New Year’s resolutions; they typically fail at the process of creating them. Life is not black and white, and therefore, creating resolutions without flexibility is a recipe for disaster. This is why I have observed so much discouragement related to resolutions.
Creating successful New Year’s resolutions becomes much easier when you have gone through the above process and have made room for growth and flexibility. In pursuit of your goals you will need to question yourself often, asking yourself always, “What do I want most.”
Be open to change, accept it, and always remember what you want.
Santiago, the main character in The Alchemist, had a life altering thought, “Don’t give into fear or you won’t be able to listen to your heart.”
Faith is necessary part of goal getting, but don’t worry, there is a quantitative side as well. Here are some solid tips for successful preparation:
If you’re still struggling to brainstorm how to set realistic and yet challenging goals, consider hiring a coach or trainer who can ask you those important questions and set you on the right track. A person outside of your situation can help you zoom out of your current reality and see new possibilities.
Creating successful New Year’s resolutions becomes much easier when you have gone through the above process and have made room for growth and flexibility. In pursuit of your goals you will need to question yourself often, asking yourself always, “What do I want most.”
Be open to change, accept it, and always remember what you want.
Santiago, the main character in The Alchemist, had a life altering thought, “Don’t give into fear or you won’t be able to listen to your heart.”
Faith is necessary part of goal getting, but don’t worry, there is a quantitative side as well. Here are some solid tips for successful preparation:
- Write down your plans, get your thoughts and dreams on paper, and hang it where you can see it every day.
- Get somebody on board to hold you accountable.
- Make sure your goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timed (SMART).
- Plan to achieve specific goals in 2-3 month increments. Most training cycles last 8-12 weeks with planned rest reevaluation.
- Chunk it down to daily and weekly “experiments.” Why call them experiments? Because you can’t fail them and learning what doesn’t work for you is also part of the process.
If you’re still struggling to brainstorm how to set realistic and yet challenging goals, consider hiring a coach or trainer who can ask you those important questions and set you on the right track. A person outside of your situation can help you zoom out of your current reality and see new possibilities.
Taking action is the fun part of goal setting! If we approach our goal setting and actions as an experiment then there are no "failures." Instead, an experimentation-mind set allows for flexibility and adjustments to enable "success." Photo Credit: Brook Anderson
Take Action
My all-time favorite part of goal getting is the action piece! You will be implementing the plan you carefully constructed in the action phase. Make sure you schedule regular check-ins with your New Year’s resolutions. Choose to check in with them bi-weekly. Celebrate your successes and evaluate how you have done throughout the week.
If things didn’t go to plan, evaluate what you learned. You may learn that there is a barrier you need to address, a limiting belief, or something in you that needs to change in order to realize your goals. You may also learn that the experiment you chose is not as necessary as you thought in accomplishing your goal, and you may set a new, more aligned, experiment in its place. Letting your New Year’s resolution be flexible is the key to maintaining momentum.
If things didn’t go to plan, evaluate what you learned. You may learn that there is a barrier you need to address, a limiting belief, or something in you that needs to change in order to realize your goals. You may also learn that the experiment you chose is not as necessary as you thought in accomplishing your goal, and you may set a new, more aligned, experiment in its place. Letting your New Year’s resolution be flexible is the key to maintaining momentum.
Do Not Get Attached to The Outcome
Finally, do not get attached to the outcome. I understand that this is probably the hardest piece to success. We are ever evolving, and we need to allow for growth and change.
It is highly possible that you will exceed a goal, but perhaps something else will become more important to you. Understand that you can channel your energy into that new goal, as long as you never stop dreaming.
Give yourself permission to be open to creative possibilities, challenges, and change. If you are closed off to a better and more aligned opportunity, you could miss out on something you never thought was possible. Openness is necessary for living authentically and on purpose.
Never give up on setting New Year’s resolutions for fear of failure, instead allow the outcome to be more flexible and resilient. Good New Year’s Resolutions have the power to inspire and transform.
It is highly possible that you will exceed a goal, but perhaps something else will become more important to you. Understand that you can channel your energy into that new goal, as long as you never stop dreaming.
Give yourself permission to be open to creative possibilities, challenges, and change. If you are closed off to a better and more aligned opportunity, you could miss out on something you never thought was possible. Openness is necessary for living authentically and on purpose.
Never give up on setting New Year’s resolutions for fear of failure, instead allow the outcome to be more flexible and resilient. Good New Year’s Resolutions have the power to inspire and transform.