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Fear, Pride, and Exploration

By Tony Ferrar
Gripped. That’s the word for it. I’d just climbed three quarters of a route when I found a great place to “rest” – a larger handhold, a few flaky edges for my feet, all on an overhang. I’d hang from one hand and shake out the other, then switch when I couldn’t hold on anymore. Shake. Switch. Shake. Switch. After a while I couldn’t tell whether it was helping or hurting and so I continued to climb. Two moves later I found myself desperately slapping for a hold. I hoped I had the strength left to latch on. I didn’t. Slap. Slip. Airborne.

​
It took me five or six more tries to complete the moves and make it to the top of the route. I guess I’ll have to come back and try this thing again!

Fear

As I look back on that climb, I can’t help but notice that I’ve changed in the last year. When I first arrived in Las Vegas, my climbing was dictated by one thing: fear. The fear of falling drove me to pick routes I knew I’d be able to climb without falling. If it looked like I might not send on my first attempt, I wouldn’t climb it.

As I grew acclimated to climbing on a regular basis, my fear subsided (for the most part). I learned to distinguish between safe and dangerous falls. Most places on most routes, the fall is ok to take. Occasionally you find yourself in a dangerous “no fall” situation, and you have to deal with it in the moment.

Pride

​Having put away my fear, my climbing became driven by another attitude: pride. I subtly shifted my language from “I think I can” to “I should be able to.” Every success validated my confidence, and every failure was a frustration point. If I fell, I’d get ticked off and beat myself up because “I should have been able to.”

I started pushing into harder grades (harder for me anyhow) and found myself falling more. I finally found my first project route. This was the first time I’d ever tried a route unsuccessfully, and then come back on multiple days to try again and again before finally sending it. I even managed to “unsend” it – I came back again and fell. It took two more trips to send again

Video of  "unsending" Caustic (5.11b/22) with a big whipper and an "uncertain" cheering squad in the background!

Exploration

As I tried and fell, tried and fell, tried and fell, I finally realized that there’s more to this climbing thing than successfully sending routes. After all, as soon as I send, there’s another route waiting for me - that’s even harder. Working routes that are either at my limit, or even beyond my ability, has taught me a third mindset: exploration.

Exploration is a different mind space altogether: it is impossible to fail when the goal is simply to learn. Sometimes I find myself faced with a challenge and send, sometimes I fall. Sometimes I learn what works, and sometimes I learn what doesn’t.
Picture
Tony Ferrar on Over a Barrel (5.10d/20) in Red Rock Canyon, NV


There's a Difference Between Training and Performance

I love climbing because it serves as a metaphor for life. When I am in a new situation and I don’t know what to do, I try to get myself into “exploration mode.” When I explore, I can objectify – view the situation for what it is - and try to learn what happens when I take action. There is no failure, only learning. I find myself open to taking in new ideas, stepping out of my comfort zone, and growing – instead of fighting desperately to prove myself against a standard that doesn’t even matter.

Most days when I climb, I am climbing new routes in new areas. I could adopt either mindset. Am I here to prove myself, or am I here to explore? Am I trying to acquire a new ability, or prove one?

I think simply recognizing whether today is an “exploring day” or a “performance day” is a game changer. Do I want to have performance days? Sure! But I think the ideal ratio is probably around 1:10. For every ten days out, one should be about performance and the others should be about growth and exploration.
​
We live in an accomplishment-focused culture. Win or lose. Succeed or fail. Whether it’s homework, a job application, or even just cooking a meal – we’re afraid to “get it wrong.” We’re embarrassed when an idea doesn’t quite work. We’re frustrated when we get stuck on a homework problem. We wonder what’s wrong with us when we don’t get hired. What if, even in these situations, we adopted the “exploration mindset” instead?

After fear comes pride. After pride comes exploration. Be an explorer.
Picture
Check out Tony's Common Climber Bio and blog and podcast at: ​https://www.tonyferrar.com/ 

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© COPYRIGHT AND TRADEMARK, COMMON CLIMBER, 2016-2021  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
  • Common Climber
  • Writing
    • All Writings (List)
    • Editions >
      • Themed Editions >
        • Adaptive Climbing Edition >
          • Adaptive Climbing Photo Feature: Paradox Sports
          • Advocating for Deaf Climbers: Sonya Wilson
          • Amputations: Leg Prosthesis for Climbing
          • Blind Ambition Builds a World Class Climber: The Story of Jesse Dufton
          • Climbing with Type 1 Diabetes
          • First Paralyzed Ascents: Rand Abbott
          • Mixed Climbing: My Answer to KT Syndrome
          • Paraclimbing Competitions: Althlete Interviews
          • Rock!
          • The Unreasonable Man
        • Belaytionships Edition >
          • Featured Photographer: Charlie OlGrady-Kessner
          • Belaytionships: Drew-and-Sarah
          • Belaytionships: Jeantique and Natalie
          • Belaytionships: Maggie and Charlie Odette
          • I Am My Father's Son: Layton Bridwell
          • Book Review: Uncoiling the Ropes
          • Zac the Interloper
        • Big Wall Edition >
          • Book Review: Paul Preuss: Lord of the Abyss
          • Featured Photographer: Matt Spohn
          • Grading Commitment
          • Hanging with the Monkeys, and Getting the Monkey Off My Back
          • It Was His Time: Brad Gobright Interview May 2019
          • John Middendorf : A Big Man for a Big Stone
          • Sébastien Berthe Free Climbs the Nose From the Ground Up
          • Shit Happens – Or, Why You Need a Walkie Talkie
        • Developers and Guidebook Authors >
          • Developer - Mitch Lehman
          • Andrew Penny - A Blue Mountaineer
          • Kevin Powell
          • Rock Star Groupie
          • Tony Calderone
        • Exploring Our World >
          • AUSTRALIA - Photographer - Diego Perez
          • AUSTRALIA - Profile - Julie Anderson
          • Book Review - Climbing Rock
          • CHINA - From Yangshuo, to Getu, to Liming
          • FRANCE - Verdon in Winter
          • GREECE - Meteora
          • ITALY - Dolomites
          • MEXICO - La Huasteca
          • SPAIN - Artist - Karmelo Onate
          • UTAH - Maple Canyon: This One Makes You Taller
        • Honoring Diversity >
          • ARTIST: Shawn Lee
          • A Shift on Moonlight Buttress
          • Claiming a Space on the Mountain
          • Colorblind
          • Feature Photographer: Bryan Sillorequez
          • Is Diversity in America Diverse?
          • MOVIE: People of Climbing:
          • Profile - Favia Dubyk
          • The Lineage
        • Joshua Tree >
          • Bouldering: JTree Made Me Do It
          • Improv at JTree: Bad Bolts
          • JTree: Bolting Pressure Cooker
          • Joshua Tree: Heinous Approaches
        • Overcoming Boundaries >
          • Photographer - Brook Anderson
          • Profile - Louise Shepherd
          • Profile - Megan Banker
          • Profile - Shawn Axelrod
          • Rock Type 1
          • The Tape Job
        • Women's Edition >
          • Editorial - Women's Edition
          • Climbing is My Art
          • Mt. Logan Solo
          • Photographer - Michelle Ranee Johnson
          • Profile - Caitlin Schokker
      • Non-Themed Editions >
        • April 2020
        • May 2020
        • June 2020
        • August 2020 >
          • Online Auction
          • Editorial August 2020
        • September 2020
        • October 2020
        • November 2020
        • December 2020 >
          • Anthology 2020 Sponsors
        • January 2021
        • March 2021
    • Topics >
      • Adaptive Climbing >
        • Adaptive Climbing Edition
        • El Capitan: Enock Glidden
        • Quinn Brett Interview
        • My Journey to Adaptive Rock Climbing
        • Planning for Mt. Rainier: Adaptive Climbing
        • Resources - Adaptive Climbing
      • Alpine & Ice >
        • California Still Has Untouched Climbing Wilderness
        • Ice Solo
        • Mt. Ogden Spanking
        • Mt. Whitney Whipping
        • My Common Alpine Epic
      • CC Profile >
        • Profile - Shawn Axelrod
        • Profile - Megan Banker
        • Profile: Wendy Bruere - More Than It Hurts
        • Profile - Favia Dubyk
        • Profile - Debbie Fowler
        • Profile - Lindsey Hamm
        • Profile - Sabine Pratt Hunziker
        • PROFILE - Marisa Michael - Nutrition for Climbers
        • Profile - Caitlin Schokker
        • Profile - Louise Shepherd
      • CoVID and Climbing >
        • COVID Climbing Memes
        • CoVID-19 Remakes Our Lives
        • Dear Memory
        • From Couch to Lifting Couches
        • How to Climb and Avoid the Corona Virus
        • Train the Mind: Mental Toughness Tips for Quaratraining
        • The 5.10 Commandments
        • Trying to Send this Route
      • Equipment (writings) >
        • Aliens!
        • A Rack Retrospective
        • Cam Ranges (+ Big Bros)
        • Carabiner Strength Ratings
        • Climbing Shoes Fit
        • Guide Book Follies
        • Rope Buying 101
        • Shit Happens – Or, Why You Need a Walkie Talkie
        • The One Item to Stockpile
        • Which Way Should I Carry My Trad Rack?
        • Why GriGris Suck
        • 8 Reasons I Carry a Full Rack on Every Trad Climb
      • Facebook Feature >
        • FF: Big Walls
        • FF: Butt Shots
        • FF: Exploring Our World
        • FF: Overcoming Boundaries
        • FF: Trees & Climbing
        • FF: Welcome New Climbers
      • Grades, Styles, & Types >
        • Bouldering-Falling
        • Bouldering Grade Advancements
        • Grading Climbs at the Gym
        • It's a F-ing Chimney
        • Onsight vs Flash vs Etc...
        • Top 10: Increase the Climbing Grade When...
        • Trad Climbing is for Chicken Sh*#s
        • WTF 5.7?
        • 18 Climber Types: Which Are You?
      • Kids >
        • Family Stages
        • The Guidebook
      • Legends >
        • B - Joe Brown
        • G - Brad Gobright
        • G - Todd Gordon
        • H - Hugh Herr
        • H - Thomas Huber - In Another World - A Personal Climbing Journey
        • J - Saxon Johns
        • M - Tim Macartney-Snape: ​A Legend from Sea to Summit
        • M - John Middendorf
      • Mental-Physical >
        • Climbing Training Series >
          • Improving Hip Mobility
          • Rock Climber Mobility
          • Train the Mind: Mental Toughness Tips for Quaratraining
        • A Climb Worth Fighting For
        • Achilles
        • Everyone Around Me Is Better Than I Am
        • Fear, Pride, and Exploration
        • How Auto-Immune Disease Affected My Climbing
        • Mastering Joy on Easy Street
        • Mind, Body, and Soul
        • My Demon Has a Name
        • New Year's Resolutions
        • Of Cartoons and Quickdraws
        • Push and Pull
        • Sorcerer and the Kidney Stone
        • Take Risks - You'll Remember Them Later
        • The Art of Climbing Without Rock
        • The Devil's Game
        • The Taste of Climbing
        • 12-Weeks to Onsighting a 5.8
      • Other/Misc >
        • Assault on Schurman Rock
        • Book Club
        • Climbing, Community, and the U.S. Presidential Election
        • Climbing Drinking Games
        • Climbing Gyms: The Gateway Drug
        • Climbing Hands
        • Climbing in the Bare Essentials
        • Climbing Resolutions
        • Demented Dirtbag
        • Don't Take Granite for Granite
        • Dorothy, We Aren't on Havana Anymore
        • Guatemalan Worry Dolls Go Climbing
        • No Health Insurance Changed How I Climb
        • Snakes and Ladders
        • Starting Over
        • The Adventure of A Lifetime - So Far
        • The Bane of Northwest Climbing
        • The Pink Tricam
        • Things of Stone and Wood
        • Zac the Interloper
      • Places & Climbs >
        • Climbs >
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          • Yosemite - What We Came For
        • Location Reviews
        • My Home Crag >
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          • Drytooling in the Rain - Wayne's World, WA
          • My Home Crag: Nowra, NSW, Australia
        • Travel Stories >
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          • Buenos Aires, Argentina Crag
          • Colorado - Calling Pat Ament
          • Coolum Cave - Sendfest 8
          • Ecuador - A Nation of Four Worlds
          • El Potrero Chico - Riding the Dirty Dog
          • Yosemite: Growing Up
          • Lover's Leap - Zone of Craptitude
          • Rio de Janeiro - Classic Climbs Sampler
          • Taghia, Morocco - Hardly Failing
          • Tasmania - Legend of the ‘Unclimbable Cliff’
          • Thailand - Lost and Found: A Mini-Epic in Paradise
          • Vedauwoo, WY
          • Yosemite - What We Came For
          • 20 World Destinations for Adventurous Climbing
        • 2020 U.S. Rock Climbing Festivals
      • Poetry/Prose >
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        • Top 10: Climbing Best Practices
      • Science Fiction >
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        • Diversity in Climbing is Not a Bandwagon
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      • Climbing Rock: Vertical Explorations Across North America
      • Hangdog Days Book Review
      • HOOKING UP: The Ultimate Big Wall and Aid Climbing Manual
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    • Location Reviews >
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          • Kangaroo Point Review
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            • Blue Mountains Review
          • Nowra >
            • Nowra Review >
              • Nowra Photos and Beta
      • Mexico >
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        • Potrero Chico Review
      • United States >
        • Climbing Area Check List - U.S. >
          • Climbing Area Check List Part 1: Alabama to California
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          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 4: New York to Wyoming
        • Arizona >
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            • Smith Rock Review
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            • Trout Creek Review
        • Nevada >
          • Gun Club
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          • Red Rock Canyon >
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        • New Hampshire >
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        • New York >
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        • Utah >
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          • Ferguson Canyon >
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            • Ferguson Canyon Review
          • Ibex >
            • Ibex Photos and Beta
            • Ibex Review
          • Maple Canyon >
            • Maple Canyon, Utah Photos and Beta
            • Maple Canyon Review
          • Moab >
            • Moab - Main - Photos and Beta
            • Moab -Main - Review
          • St. George >
            • St. George - Prophesy Wall- Photos and Beta
            • St. George - Prophesy Wall - Review
        • West Virginia >
          • Seneca Rocks
        • Wyoming >
          • Ten Sleep
  • Photographers & Artists
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