Meet Zoe and Patches, the world's first guinea pig climbers! And they have accrued an Instagram following to boot. Common Climber is excited to interview these furry climbers along with their owners/creators/chauffeurs - Bert (aka. Robbie) and Zoe.
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Ok, let's begin with the basics, which one of you is Zoe and which one of you is patches?
Zoe is white and tan. Patches has a black eye patch. When did you start climbing?
During the pandemic in 2020. You do it all, bouldering, sport climbing, and even trad. Do you have a favorite style?
Yes, we love all forms of climbing with soloing being our favorite. Multi-pitch trad routes are a close second. |
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Patches getting an FA on some bouldering. They may have to come up with the GP-scale. (Photo Credit: Robert Crouse, IG: @bertcrouse)
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Zoe and Patches enjoy all kinds of climbing - sport, trad, bouldering, ice, and bigwall. (Photo Credit: Robert Crouse, IG: @bertcrouse)
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When I look at your trad climbing photos, all I ever see are nuts hanging from your harness. Do you use 100% passive pro?
Yes 100% passive pro until BD starts making some cams in our size. Please feel free to suggest it to them! |
Right now the only trad gear available to guinea pig climbers are nuts - so they are climbing 100% on passive pro (when not free soloing). (Photo Credit: Robert Crouse, IG: @bertcrouse)
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It looks like you have even started to do bigwall climbing - portaledges and all. Tell us more about that.
The Dawn Wall was a huge inspiration for us to get into big wall climbing. It was also the inspiration for the short film “The Dusk Wall” which features us on a multi-day ascent of the Stone Age gym wall. Check it out on our Instagram page. |
Bigwall climbing with Zoe and Patches. (Photo Credit: Matt Cunningham, IG: @clamsjog)
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I saw on one of your posts, one of you broke your paw. What happened and how did that impact your climbing?
I was climbing a 5.10a single pitch trad route in Sugarite Canyon, New Mexico. I was resting before the crux move which is a roof. My paw was jammed in the roof crack while I was resting. My paw must have shifted slightly cause it popped out of the crack and I took a fall. I caught a small ledge on the way down. It ended up snapping my leg. The accident happened on June 5th, 2022. I am now almost fully recovered and back to climbing 5.12’s in the gym again.
I was climbing a 5.10a single pitch trad route in Sugarite Canyon, New Mexico. I was resting before the crux move which is a roof. My paw was jammed in the roof crack while I was resting. My paw must have shifted slightly cause it popped out of the crack and I took a fall. I caught a small ledge on the way down. It ended up snapping my leg. The accident happened on June 5th, 2022. I am now almost fully recovered and back to climbing 5.12’s in the gym again.
You travel around to climb. What are some of your favorite spots and why?
Red Rock in Las Vegas, Nevada for long multi pitch routes. Indian Creek, Utah for crack climbing. Sugarite, New Mexico has the best campground with a crag close by. The Wind Rivers Range in Wyoming for big, remote, alpine routes. Then last but not least the North Cascades in Washington holds a special place in our hearts. Anything in Colorado because it gives us a good excuse to visit our Uncle Steve in Colorado.
Red Rock in Las Vegas, Nevada for long multi pitch routes. Indian Creek, Utah for crack climbing. Sugarite, New Mexico has the best campground with a crag close by. The Wind Rivers Range in Wyoming for big, remote, alpine routes. Then last but not least the North Cascades in Washington holds a special place in our hearts. Anything in Colorado because it gives us a good excuse to visit our Uncle Steve in Colorado.
Zoe and Patches don't let long, complex, or even dangerous approaches deter them. They may be small in size but they are big in adventure. (Photo Credit: Robert Crouse, IG: @bertcrouse)
You have met a lot of Instafamous climbers - what is it like for so many popular climbers to want to cuddle you and climb with you?
It’s great! The best part of climbing is the community. Everyone has been super friendly and helpful! Though Patches can sometimes get a little jealous when I’m hanging out with the boys.
It’s great! The best part of climbing is the community. Everyone has been super friendly and helpful! Though Patches can sometimes get a little jealous when I’m hanging out with the boys.
ABOVE: Click to enlarge and see captions and photo credits.
NOTE: Matt Cunningham (IG: @clamsjog) has been featured by Common Climber and took the photos of Irene Yee and April Davidson
NOTE: Matt Cunningham (IG: @clamsjog) has been featured by Common Climber and took the photos of Irene Yee and April Davidson
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You seem to be getting more guinea pigs interested in climbing. Who are the new guinea pigs on the block?
Our herd has grown recently. Matt likes to wear purple and black. Then we also have a Bibi in the Wild Country backpack. What is the most challenging type of climbing for you as a guinea pig?
The routes aren’t a problem. The drive and approaches are brutal. Since we can’t drive we usually bum rides from our humans Zoe and Robbie. So you have some pretty specialized gear, who makes it for you? Where do you get it?
"Zoe Can Patch It" runs an outdoor gear repair business in Albuquerque, New Mexico. She custom made 90% of our gear. |
Zoe and Patches introduce more guinea pigs to climbing. Here they are conga-lining it up an approach crack in New Mexico. (Photo Credit: Robert Crouse, IG: @bertcrouse)
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Who is it doing all the hard work behind the scenes, driving you around, taking photos, etc.?
This has been a collaborative effort with most of the work being done by Zoe (IG: @zoepatches) and Robbie (IG: @bertcrouse). Kyla (IG: @adventurepact) and Matt Cunningham (IG: @clamsjog) has taken pictures for us too.
This has been a collaborative effort with most of the work being done by Zoe (IG: @zoepatches) and Robbie (IG: @bertcrouse). Kyla (IG: @adventurepact) and Matt Cunningham (IG: @clamsjog) has taken pictures for us too.
As we wrap up your interview, do you have any last words for our Common Climber readers?
No matter how small, furry, or round you are, there is a place for you in climbing. We love meeting new people so if you want to climb sometime hit us up.
No matter how small, furry, or round you are, there is a place for you in climbing. We love meeting new people so if you want to climb sometime hit us up.
Thanks for the interview Zoe and Patches! Now we are going to learn a little more about your humans.
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Bert (aka. Robbie) & Zoe
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How did Zoe and Patches come to life?
It was a random idea by Robbie (IG: @bertcrouse) during the pandemic. We wanted to create some joy and smiles by creating light hearted and positivity on Instagram. Did you ever think they would have 10K Instagram followers? What has that experience been like - being the parents of Instafamous climbers?
We are hoping to break 10k but it’s been tough. Lately Instagram seems to favor reels. Most of our recent posts rarely make it outside our followers. We also took a break after the accident to allow some time to heal. What is Robbie's roll in the whole guinea pig endeavor?
Zoe and Patches are his brainchild. He is the main content creator for the page. |
Robbie (IG: @bertcrause) and Zoe (IG: @zoepatches) climbing at their home crag in the Sandia Mountains outside of Albuquerque, NM.
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Zoe, you have another Instagram account @zoepatches , where you highlight your sewing skills for gear repair. Is sewing your full-time gig? Tell us more about that?
Yes it is a full time job. I’m a member of the New Mexico Mountain Club. When I joined the club I noticed that outdoor gear can be expensive and it also gets damaged easily when climbing. I loved sewing and repairing as long as I can remember. I started sewing at the age of six.
I decided to start my business three years ago and it was primarily local drop offs from here in New Mexico. Now 40% of my repairs get mailed in from all across the United States and sometimes internationally. I’m passionate about giving outdoor gear a second life with either a factory finish or with some flare. People seem to enjoy my creativity so I often get requests for the “chef’s choice” with repairs which allows me to add my personal touch.
Yes it is a full time job. I’m a member of the New Mexico Mountain Club. When I joined the club I noticed that outdoor gear can be expensive and it also gets damaged easily when climbing. I loved sewing and repairing as long as I can remember. I started sewing at the age of six.
I decided to start my business three years ago and it was primarily local drop offs from here in New Mexico. Now 40% of my repairs get mailed in from all across the United States and sometimes internationally. I’m passionate about giving outdoor gear a second life with either a factory finish or with some flare. People seem to enjoy my creativity so I often get requests for the “chef’s choice” with repairs which allows me to add my personal touch.
ABOVE: Click to enlarge. Check out more of Zoe's work and how to reach her at zoecanpatchit.com
Where do you call home and tell us about your home climbing crags?
Albuquerque, New Mexico is both our homes. We met through collaborating on Guinea Pig Climbers and have now been together for over 2 years. Our favorite local crags are:
Albuquerque, New Mexico is both our homes. We met through collaborating on Guinea Pig Climbers and have now been together for over 2 years. Our favorite local crags are:
- The Sandia Mountains: Alpine style multi-pitches in our back yard.
- White Rock in Los Alamos. Single pitch sport and trad on basalt.
- El Rito, which is conglomerate rock. There are tall routes with some being over 100’ tall. Both trad and sport options.
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Zoe and Patches shared their favorite climbing spot, where is yours?
We climb a lot together so we have a lot of the same favorites with our most recent being Red Rock in Vegas. Do Zoe and Patches always join you or do you sometimes leave them at home?
We climb together 80% of the time. Guinea pigs love company and hate to be left out of the herd. Any last words for our readers?
Patch It, Don’t Trash It! Textiles is a large waste stream. Repairing old favorites can be a great step to becoming just a little more green. |
Just like Zoe and Patches, Red Rock Canyon, Nevada is one of Zoe and Bert's favorite places to climb. (Photo Credit: Matt Cunningham, IG: @clamsjog)
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