COMMON CLIMBER
  • Editions
    • Non-Themed Editions >
      • April 2020
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        • Editorial August 2020
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        • Anthology 2020 Sponsors
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      • Nov - Dec 2022
      • Jan-Feb 2023
      • March-April 2023
      • September-October 2023
  • Themed Editions
    • Adaptive Climbing Edition >
      • Adaptive Climbing Photo Feature: Paradox Sports
      • Climbing with Type 1 Diabetes
      • Advocating for Deaf Climbers: Sonya Wilson
      • Amputations: Leg Prosthesis for Climbing
      • Blind Ambition Builds a World Class Climber: The Story of Jesse Dufton
      • First Paralyzed Ascents: Rand Abbott
      • Mixed Climbing: My Answer to KT Syndrome
      • Paraclimbing Competitions: Althlete Interviews
      • Rock!
      • The Unreasonable Man
    • Belaytionships Edition >
      • Featured Photographer: Charlie OlGrady-Kessner
      • Belaytionships: Maggie and Charlie Odette
      • Zac the Interloper
      • Book Review: Uncoiling the Ropes
      • Belaytionships: Drew-and-Sarah
      • This page has been removed
      • I Am My Father's Son: Layton Bridwell
    • Big Wall Edition >
      • Book Review: Paul Preuss: Lord of the Abyss
      • Featured Photographer: Matt Spohn
      • Grading Commitment
      • Hanging with the Monkeys, and Getting the Monkey Off My Back
      • It Was His Time: Brad Gobright Interview May 2019
      • John Middendorf : A Big Man for a Big Stone
      • Sébastien Berthe Free Climbs the Nose From the Ground Up
      • Shit Happens – Or, Why You Need a Walkie Talkie
    • Developers and Guidebook Authors >
      • Developer - Mitch Lehman
      • Andrew Penny - A Blue Mountaineer
      • Kevin Powell
      • Rock Star Groupie
      • Tony Calderone
    • Exploring Our World >
      • AUSTRALIA - Photographer - Diego Perez
      • AUSTRALIA - Profile - Julie Anderson
      • Book Review - Climbing Rock
      • CHINA - From Yangshuo, to Getu, to Liming
      • FRANCE - Verdon in Winter
      • GREECE - Meteora
      • ITALY - Dolomites
      • MEXICO - La Huasteca
      • SPAIN - Artist - Karmelo Onate
      • UTAH - Maple Canyon: This One Makes You Taller
    • Firsts... and Last >
      • A Tale of Oso Madre
      • Clayton Herrmann - Featured Photographer
      • Rysavy Ridge >
        • The Migrant Pom on Rysavy Ridge
        • Throng of Roland
        • Fast Forward - Rysavy Ridge Revisited
      • The Three Sisters
    • Honoring Diversity >
      • ARTIST: Shawn Lee
      • A Shift on Moonlight Buttress
      • Claiming a Space on the Mountain
      • Colorblind
      • Feature Photographer: Bryan Sillorequez
      • Is Diversity in America Diverse?
      • MOVIE: People of Climbing:
      • Profile - Favia Dubyk
      • The Lineage
    • Humor
    • Joshua Tree >
      • Bouldering: JTree Made Me Do It
      • Improv at JTree: Bad Bolts
      • JTree: Bolting Pressure Cooker
      • Joshua Tree: Heinous Approaches
    • Overcoming Adversity >
      • Acopa Outdoors
      • Anoushe Husain
      • Expanding the Circle
      • Failure is Part of the Price: Rand Abbott Attempts the First Adaptive Lead Ascent of The Nose
      • Overcoming a Brain Tumor: WeighMyRack Founder Interview: Alison Dennis
      • Rising
      • The Mountain Path Book Review
    • Overcoming Boundaries >
      • Photographer - Brook Anderson
      • Profile - Louise Shepherd
      • Profile - Megan Banker
      • Profile - Shawn Axelrod
      • Rock Type 1
      • The Tape Job
    • Strength Edition >
      • Effective Training: Are You Getting Stronger or Just Getting Tired?
      • In Praise of Mustang Coffee
      • More: Life on the Edge of Adventure and Motherhood
      • Mother Earth: One of Australia's Hardest Natural Lines
      • My Husband Climbs Stronger than Me
      • She has a Name: Mary Catherine Eden
      • Train the Mind: Mental Toughness Tips
    • Women's Edition >
      • Editorial - Women's Edition
      • Climbing is My Art
      • Mt. Logan Solo
      • Photographer - Michelle Ranee Johnson
      • Profile - Caitlin Schokker
  • Writing
    • All Writings (List)
    • Topics >
      • Adaptive Climbing >
        • Adaptive Climbing Edition
        • El Capitan: Enock Glidden
        • Failure is Part of the Price: Rand Abbott Attempts the First Adaptive Lead Ascent of The Nose
        • Jean
        • Quinn Brett Interview
        • My Journey to Adaptive Rock Climbing
        • Planning for Mt. Rainier: Adaptive Climbing
        • Resources - Adaptive Climbing
        • Adaptive Climbing: It's About Climbing Independence
      • Alpine & Ice >
        • A Chamonix Initiation
        • California Still Has Untouched Climbing Wilderness
        • Elusive Ice - A Rare Tasmanian Treat
        • Ice Solo
        • Mt. Ogden Spanking
        • Mt. Whitney Whipping
        • My Common Alpine Epic
        • The Dru Derby >
          • Horses for Courses - The Dru Derby 1971
          • My Dru Derby
          • The North Face of the Dru - Chris Baxter
        • Vertical Ice Climbing in Ontario, Canada, eh?
      • Profiles >
        • Climberisms by Dylan Taylor
        • A - Shawn Axelrod - Overcoming Boundaries
        • B - Megan Banker - Plus-Sized Climbing Advocate
        • B - Wendy Bruere - More Than It Hurts
        • D - Favia Dubyk - American Ninja Warrior
        • F - Debbie Fowler - A N00bie Climber's Story
        • G - Guinea Pig Climbers: Zoe and Patches
        • E - Ian Elliot - It's All Up From Here
        • H - Lindsey Hamm - The Hamminator
        • H - Sabine Pratt Hunziker - Little Red Riding Hood
        • M - Marisa Michael - Nutrition for Climbers
        • M - Josie McKee: Training the Mind for Joy
        • P - Dave Parry - Author Grit Blocs
        • S - Caitlin Schokker
        • S - Louise Shepherd - Aussie Legend
        • T - Mia Tucholke - IFMGA Mountain Guide
      • Comics >
        • Master and his Apprentice
        • Totem Pole 2082
        • The Video - Comic
      • CoVID and Climbing >
        • COVID Climbing Memes
        • CoVID-19 Remakes Our Lives
        • Dear Memory
        • From Couch to Lifting Couches
        • How to Climb and Avoid the Corona Virus
        • The 5.10 Commandments
        • Trying to Send this Route
      • Equipment (writings) >
        • Aliens!
        • A Rack Retrospective
        • Cam Ranges (+ Big Bros)
        • Carabiner Strength Ratings
        • Climbing Shoes Fit
        • Guide Book Follies
        • Rope Buying 101
        • Shit Happens – Or, Why You Need a Walkie Talkie
        • The One Item to Stockpile
        • Which Way Should I Carry My Trad Rack?
        • Why GriGris Suck
        • 8 Reasons I Carry a Full Rack on Every Trad Climb
      • Facebook Feature >
        • FF: Big Walls
        • FF: Butt Shots
        • FF: Exploring Our World
        • FF: Overcoming Boundaries
        • FF: Trees & Climbing
        • FF: Welcome New Climbers
      • Fiction >
        • GOD
        • Red Curtain: Prologue & Chapter 1 Excerpt
      • Gift Ideas >
        • Climbing Goods
        • Climbing Stocking Stuffers 2021
        • Rock Stack Card Game
        • Safety Gifts 2021
      • Grades, Styles, & Types >
        • Absolutely Hypothetical: Introducing the Graham Scale
        • Bouldering-Falling
        • Bouldering Grade Advancements
        • Grading Climbs at the Gym
        • It's a F-ing Chimney
        • Onsight vs Flash vs Etc...
        • Top 10: Increase the Climbing Grade When...
        • Trad Climbing is for Chicken Sh*#s
        • WTF 5.7?
        • 18 Climber Types: Which Are You?
      • Kids >
        • Family Stages
        • The Guidebook
      • Legends & Tributes >
        • A - Bryden Allen
        • B - The Bell's Line: The Keith Bell Story
        • B - John Brailsford Tribute - The Immaculate MOAC
        • B - Joe Brown
        • C - Cutcliffe - The Boy from Bothwell – A Tribute to Max Cutcliffe, an Australian Legend
        • G - Brad Gobright
        • G - Todd Gordon
        • H - Hugh Herr
        • H - Thomas Huber - In Another World - A Personal Climbing Journey
        • J - Saxon Johns
        • M - Tim Macartney-Snape: ​A Legend from Sea to Summit
        • M - John Middendorf
        • S- Paul Seddon - From a Nut to a Harness: A Tribute to Paul Seddon, The Third Troll
        • R - Early to Rock: David Roots
      • Mental-Physical >
        • Climbing Training Series >
          • Climbing Warm-Up: Shoulders & Fingers
          • Effective Training: Are You Getting Stronger or Just Getting Tired?
          • Improving Hip Mobility
          • Rock Climber Mobility
          • Train the Mind: Mental Toughness Tips
        • Climbing Through Life
        • A Climb Worth Fighting For
        • Achilles
        • Encouraging Words - At Any Age
        • Everyone Around Me Is Better Than I Am
        • Falling Far Enough
        • Fear, Pride, and Exploration
        • How Auto-Immune Disease Affected My Climbing
        • Lessons from a 30-foot Ground Fall
        • Mastering Joy on Easy Street
        • Mind, Body, and Soul
        • My Demon Has a Name
        • New Year's Resolutions
        • Of Cartoons and Quickdraws
        • Psychological First Aid
        • Push and Pull
        • Sorcerer and the Kidney Stone
        • Take Risks - You'll Remember Them Later
        • The Art of Climbing Without Rock
        • The Devil's Game
        • The Eye
        • The Taste of Climbing
        • 12-Weeks to Onsighting a 5.8
      • Other/Misc >
        • A Day Out With Barnsey
        • A Leap into the Blue Back in the Day
        • Animal Acts Part 1: Things with Wings
        • Animal Acts 2: Things That Slither, Crawl, and Walk
        • Assault on Schurman Rock
        • Christo's Little Bay Rhapsody
        • Climbing, Community, and the U.S. Presidential Election
        • Climbing Gyms: The Gateway Drug
        • Climbing Hands
        • Climbing in the Bare Essentials
        • Climbing Resolutions
        • Dirtbag Trucker
        • Demented Dirtbag
        • Don't Take Granite for Granite
        • Dorothy, We Aren't on Havana Anymore
        • Guatemalan Worry Dolls Go Climbing
        • GymRhino
        • Memes by Bad Beta Bouldering
        • No Health Insurance Changed How I Climb
        • Snakes and Ladders
        • Starting Over
        • Summit Fever
        • Sydney: Growing Up
        • The Adventure of A Lifetime - So Far
        • The Bane of Northwest Climbing
        • The Hangglider Incident
        • The Pink Tricam
        • Things of Stone and Wood
        • We Were Just Boys
        • Zac the Interloper
      • Places & Climbs >
        • Climbs >
          • Consolation Prize
          • Echo Crack and Cracked Egos
          • Email From Italy
          • Flakes and Shakes: Flake Crack Revisited
          • From Yorkshire to Eternity
          • I Like Fake Cracks (And I Cannot Lie)
          • Lost Boys Meets Hard Boys >
            • The Lost Boys: The Epic First Ascent of Mount Warning's Wollumbin Shield
          • Mont Blanc: Climbing the Best Granite Cracks in Europe
          • Ozymandias Direct - Fifty Years of Fun and Games
          • The Fourth Bolt of Texas Radio
          • The Matterhorn
          • Thumbing The Nose at Mr. CF Jingus
          • Tiptoeing Through Some Bungles
          • Tombstone Territory
          • Yosemite - What We Came For
        • Location Reviews
        • My Home Crag >
          • Climbing in the Upper Cumberland Valley, Kentucky
          • Copen Hill Climbing Wall
          • Drytooling in the Rain - Wayne's World, WA
          • My Home Crag: Nowra, NSW, Australia
          • New River Gorge, West Virgina
          • The Kenyan Climber
        • Travel Stories >
          • Blue Mountains - Bliss: Climbing in the Blueys
          • Buenos Aires, Argentina Crag
          • Colorado - Calling Pat Ament
          • Coolum Cave - Sendfest 8
          • Desert Special Forces Adventures: Part 1
          • Ecuador - A Nation of Four Worlds
          • Egypt: The Sinai Sampler
          • El Potrero Chico - Riding the Dirty Dog
          • Yosemite: Growing Up
          • Lover's Leap - Zone of Craptitude
          • Moonarie
          • Red Rock Canyon - Race Through Red Rock
          • Rio de Janeiro - Classic Climbs Sampler
          • Sintra, Portugal
          • Taghia, Morocco - Hardly Failing
          • Tasmania - Legend of the ‘Unclimbable Cliff’
          • Thailand - Lost and Found: A Mini-Epic in Paradise
          • Vedauwoo, WY
          • What Two Friends Uncovered in Verdon
          • Yosemite - What We Came For
          • 20 World Destinations for Adventurous Climbing
      • Poetry/Prose >
        • A Bard of Yosemite
        • Anti-Social Climbers
        • Sojourn at Dyuritte
        • Finding Poetry
        • Ice is Nice
        • The Space Between
      • Puzzles and Games >
        • Climbing Drinking Games
        • Crossword - Strength Edition
      • Safety and Skills >
        • Bolting and Ground-Fall Potential
        • Euro-Death Knot is NOT
        • Multi-Pitch Tips: Two ATCs
        • Sketchy Anchor Bolts
        • Sliding-X Anchor
        • Three Ways to Use a Stick Clip
        • Top 10: Climbing Best Practices
      • Social, Social Media, & Social Issues >
        • A Delicate Balance - Gariwerd
        • Chossy Trio Renegades
        • Climbing into the Fold
        • Diversity in Climbing is Not a Bandwagon
        • Don't Burn Out
        • From Gortex to Camouflage: The story of climber, Irina Galay and climbing’s responses to the war in Ukraine
        • Fuck "Gumbies" and "Noobs"
        • I Am a Woman: Brie Chartier Shares Her Transition Journey
        • Montana, My Home: Claire Larson
        • Navajo Rising
        • Social Network Rescue
        • Social Pressure, Climbing, and Leave No Trace
        • The Alps Will Have to Wait
        • The First Climbing Gym Union?
  • Marketplace
    • Acopa Outdoors
    • Butora
    • Climbing Addicts Colored Chalk
    • Climb-On Maps
    • Dynamite Starfish
    • Elira - No Need to Strip, Just Unzip
    • FIXEhardware
    • Furnace Industries
    • Grimpi
    • Heroclip
    • Lacaida Ropes
    • Mountain Drifter
    • MoveWell with McGee
    • Mystery Ranch
    • Neilico
    • NW Alpine
    • Rockytalkies
    • SLAPCHALKS
    • Tension Climbing
    • Tera Kaia
  • Reviews
    • Book Reviews >
      • Advanced Rock Climbing Book Review
      • Adventures at the Edge of the World
      • Climb - Book Review
      • Climbing Glass Book Review
      • Climbing Rock: Vertical Explorations Across North America
      • Hangdog Days Book Review
      • HOOKING UP: The Ultimate Big Wall and Aid Climbing Manual
      • More: Life on the Edge of Adventure and Motherhood
      • Paul Preuss: Lord of the Abyss
      • Red Curtain - Book Review
      • Sydney Climbing - Book Review
      • The Greater Fool - Brad Gobright and the Blinding Shine of Originality
      • The Mountain Path Book Review
      • The Sharp End of Life: A Mother's Story - Book Review
      • Uncoiling the Ropes
      • Valley of Giants
      • Yosemite Bigwalls: The Ultimate Guide Review
    • Equipment/Gear Reviews >
      • Belay Device Review >
        • Edelrid Mega Jul
      • Harness Reviews >
        • ArcTeryx-FL-365
        • Misty Mountain Cadillac
      • Packs and Bags >
        • Sukoa Chalk Bag Review
        • Trango Crag Pack
      • Personal Anchor Systems >
        • Camp-Daisy-Twist
        • Petzl-Dual-Adjust
      • Other Gear Reviews >
        • D4 Delta2P Portaledge
        • Skyhook Stick Clip Review
    • Location Reviews >
      • Australia >
        • Queensland, Australia >
          • Kangaroo Point Photos and Beta
          • Kangaroo Point Review
        • New South Wales Australia >
          • Blue Mountains >
            • Blue Mountains Photos and Beta
            • Blue Mountains Review
          • Nowra >
            • Nowra Review >
              • Nowra Photos and Beta
      • Mexico >
        • Potrero Chico Photos and Beta
        • Potrero Chico Review
      • United States >
        • Climbing Area Check List - U.S. >
          • Climbing Area Check List Part 1: Alabama to California
          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 2: Colorado to Michigan
          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 3: Minnesota to New Mexico
          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 4: New York to Wyoming
        • Arizona >
          • Queen Creek Canyon
        • California >
          • Joshua Tree >
            • Joshua Tree Tips
          • Mount Whitney >
            • Mount Whitney Photos and Beta
        • Idaho
        • Oregon >
          • Smith Rock >
            • Smith Rock - Photos and Beta
            • Smith Rock Review
          • Spring Mountain >
            • Spring Mountain Review
            • Spring Mountain - Photos and Beta
          • Trout Creek >
            • Trout Creek Photos and Beta
            • Trout Creek Review
        • Nevada >
          • Gun Club
          • Keyhole Canyon
          • Mt. Charleston, Nevada
          • Red Rock Canyon >
            • Red Rock Canyon Review - Yeahs and Neahs
            • Red Rock Canyon Photos and Beta
        • New Hampshire >
          • North Conway, NH
          • Rumney, NH
        • New York >
          • Gunks Review
        • Utah >
          • Echo Canyon
          • Ferguson Canyon >
            • Ferguson Canyon Photos and Beta
            • Ferguson Canyon Review
          • Ibex >
            • Ibex Photos and Beta
            • Ibex Review
          • Maple Canyon >
            • Maple Canyon, Utah Photos and Beta
            • Maple Canyon Review
          • Moab >
            • Moab - Main - Photos and Beta
            • Moab -Main - Review
          • St. George >
            • St. George - Prophesy Wall- Photos and Beta
            • St. George - Prophesy Wall - Review
        • West Virginia >
          • Seneca Rocks
        • Wyoming >
          • Ten Sleep
  • Photographers & Artists
    • A-F - Photographers and Artists >
      • A- Brook Anderson
      • B - Florian Beyer
      • B - Michael Blowers
      • B - Phillip Booth
      • B - Guillaume Borga
      • B - Michaël Bortoluzzi
      • B - Michael Bretz
      • C - Karen Chan
      • C - Matt Cunningham
      • D - Daga Dygas
      • E- Mary Catherine Eden
      • F - Eric Fallecker
    • G-N - Photographers and Artists >
      • G - Katherine González
      • G - Max Gordon
      • H - Clayton Herrmann
      • J - Michelle Ranee Johnson
      • K - Jethro Kiernan
      • K - Christine Kuebler
      • L - Jim Lawyer - Everyone Needs a Lawyer: Profile of Climber & Photographer, Jim Lawyer
      • L - Shawn Lee Illustrator
      • L - LieseLotte P
      • L - Jim Lin
      • M - Lindsey Mathewson
      • M - Alex Messenger
      • N - Tiffany Nardico
    • O-Z- Photographers and Artists >
      • O - Charlie OlGrady-Kessner
      • O - Karmelo Onate
      • O - Camila Ospina
      • P - Diego Perez
      • S - Charlie S.
      • S - Xavi Sanchez - Climbing Comic
      • S - Helmut Schulze
      • S - Bryan Sillorequez
      • S - Stephen Smithburger
      • S - Matt Spohn
      • V - Laura Vallo
      • W - Joel Wilson
      • Z - Eson Zhao
  • JOIN!
  • Submissions
  • About Common Climber
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  • Authors
    • A-F >
      • B - Stephanie Bahnsen
      • B - Alex Barlow
      • B - Dave Barnes >
        • Dave Barnes Extended Bio
      • B - Austin Beck-Doss
      • B - Keith Bell
      • B - Brianna Boney
      • C - Massimo Cappuccio
      • C - Carrot
      • C - Radek Chalupa
      • C - Lyle Closs
      • C - Erin Collins
      • C - James Crump
      • D - Stefani Dawn
      • D - Derek DeBruin
      • D - Nick Ducker
      • F - Tony Ferrar
    • G-O >
      • G - Joshua G
      • G - Leesa Gallia
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      • G - Enock Glidden
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      • H - Grey Hensley
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      • H - Michael Hjorth
      • M - Henk Morgans
      • J - Jonathan
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      • L - Mike Lewis
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    • P-Z >
      • P - Emilie Pellerin
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      • S - Lor Sabourin
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      • S - Jeff Smoot
      • T- Frothy Thomson
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      • T - Matt Tredway
      • T - Natalia (Tal) Tune
      • W - Kirby Walke
      • W - Hugh Ward
      • W - Stuart Williams
      • W - Wayne Willoughby
      • W - Lani Wilson
      • W - Dierdre Wolownick
      • Z - Peter Zabrok
  • Videos
  • Climbing Events 2023

Humor Edition
May-June 2023

Featured Fuzz Balls: Guinea Pig Climbers - Patches and Zoe

We all love our fur babies right? Most of the time though they are crag dogs and the occasional crag kitty. But, this time they are guinea pigs.

In case you haven't heard of Patches and Zoe - the one and only guinea pig climbers - Common Climber is bringing you into the "know" to meet these Insta-famous fuzz balls.

In this edition we share a new interview of these two critters along with the two humans who chauffeur them around, take (most) of their photos, and make their gear.

There are also a few other Insta-famous faces sprinkled amongst the photos - after all, who doesn't want to see and be seen with the ones and only?!
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Editorial

You know what's great about being a Common Climber? We know how to have fun. We know how to laugh. We find the humor.

Sometimes climbing takes itself waaay to seriously. Amiright? I mean have you ever gotten so caught up in a "discussion" on whether you onsighted or red pointed a climb? Or how about whether a pink point counts as a send? Or whether you should have your draws face in our out on your harness?

Or, how about the "discussions" about the grade of a climb? "There's no way that was a 5.12 - that was so soft?" "What?! Soft for you because you have an ape index of 250!" How about how bruised our ego gets if we get our asses kicked by a 5.7?

We all do it at some point in our climbing lives - take climbing super seriously - but sometimes, if you hang with climbing long enough, you also reach a point where you say fuck it and just laugh. 

When I started Common Climber I just wanted a place to have some playful climbing content. Over the years, Common Climber has continuously sprinkled humorous stories into our editions - and in our Anthology (which is now out of print), where we dedicated a chapter to humor - but we've never had a full online edition dedicated to humor. Well, it's time that changed. So, here it is. The first humor edition of Common Climber!
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This certainly doesn't hit all of the funny submissions we have, but I dare you to read all these stories below, and then submit your own funny story so we can keep this fun tradition going!

-- Stef
​Creator & Editor-in-Chief

Taking Ourselves Not So Seriously

  • Climbing Drinking Games (by Stefani Dawn) - Have a little fun with: Guidebook Roulette; 15 Minutes My A**! and "Nice!" at the Crag.

  • Top 10: Increase the Climbing Grade When... (by Stefani Dawn) - A climber ponders climbing grades and invents a new game…Increase the climbing grade when...

  • Onsight vs. Flash vs. Redpoint vs. Pinkpoint vs. Tronsight - (by Stefani Dawn) An incredibly serious tongue-in-cheek discussion about the nuanced differences between these "you either did it -- or you didn't" sending terms.

  • WTF 5.7? (by Stefani Dawn) - Some climbing grades, more so than others, are simply unpredictable and can blind-side you.


Climbing "​Incidents"

  • A Leap into the Blue Back in the Day ​(By Keith Bell) - ​Often climbs are named based upon an experience with the first ascent - but this climb, called "Serenity," was named tongue-in-cheek for the very non-serene descent that occurred before the ascent. 

  • Dorothy, We Aren't On Havanah Anymore (by Stefani Dawn) - Have you ever gotten on the wrong climb and realized it a little too late?

  • The Bane of Northwest Climbing (by Stefani Dawn) - F#$% moss! Enough said.

  • Zone of Craptitude (by Stefani Dawn) -  A climber enters the zone - a different kind of zone...

  • Snakes and Ladders (by ​David Barnes) - Australia – the land where walking out your front door means you may be bitten, stung, or even killed by any number of critters. Now try it on a climb...
  • Animal Acts Part 1: Things With Wings (by Keith Bell) - Keith Bell has a way with words and some rich climbing tales. In part one of a two-part series Keith shares four laugh-out-loud tales of climbing encounters with "Things With Wings."

  • Of Cartoons and Quickdraws (by Juan Rodriguez) - A climber has a Wile E. Coyote moment as he is suspended mid-fall, in disbelief, quickdraw in hand.

  • La Huasteca (By James Crump) - A hilarious and adventurous coming-of-age tale of when a 16-year-old Crump and his buddy Goomba cross the border to Mexico and go adventure climbing in La Huasteca.​

  • The Hangglider Incident (By James Crump) - Climbing pot-pipes? Cops? Hanggliders? Texas climbing legend James Crump tells a tale like no other. This story is no exception. Be ready to laugh - and be shocked - in disbelief as this larger-than-life Texas climbing tale unfolds. 


Famous People

  • Calling Pat Ament (By Jeff Smoot) - An adventure story of two young climbers just trying to find a place to sleep. ​
  • Christo's Little Bay Rhapsody (By Keith Bell) - ​Christo, an avant garde artist that likes to wrap very large things, left his mark on Little Bay near Sydney, Australia - with the help of climbers, of course. Contributor Keith Bell happened to be one of those climbers. In this interesting and humorous account, Keith fills us in on what it was like to help wrap 2.5 kilometers (1.5 miles) of coastline with fabric and what happened in the aftermath - including how NOT to deal with 400 meters of rope.

Training and Gear

  • 12-Weeks to Onsighting a 5.8 - Now available from State of Readiness - THE definitive online rock climbing training program - 12-Weeks to Onsighting a 5.8!
  • How the Alien Got Its Name (By Jeff Smoot) - Jeff Smoot dredges up some long forgotten - or perhaps never known - history of how the now-infamous Alien cam actually got its name...

Comics, Memes, & Videos

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Totem Pole 2082 (By Xavi Sanchez)
Picture
Climbing Memes (By Bad Beta Bouldering)

Picture
Butt Shots from Facebook Contributors
GRILLS CUDDLY BEARS

Aussie climber Grills Cuddly Bears does a first ascent in the EXTREME heat in the EXTREME desert of the EXTREME desert Southwest.

​(Video Written, Acted, & Created By: Stefani Dawn)

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  • Editions
    • Non-Themed Editions >
      • April 2020
      • May 2020
      • June 2020
      • August 2020 >
        • Editorial August 2020
      • September 2020
      • October 2020
      • November 2020
      • December 2020 >
        • Anthology 2020 Sponsors
      • January 2021
      • March 2021
      • April 2021
      • May 2021
      • June 2021
      • August-September 2021
      • October 2021
      • November-December 2021
      • March-April 2022
      • May-June 2022
      • July-August 2022
      • Sept-Oct 2022
      • Nov - Dec 2022
      • Jan-Feb 2023
      • March-April 2023
      • September-October 2023
  • Themed Editions
    • Adaptive Climbing Edition >
      • Adaptive Climbing Photo Feature: Paradox Sports
      • Climbing with Type 1 Diabetes
      • Advocating for Deaf Climbers: Sonya Wilson
      • Amputations: Leg Prosthesis for Climbing
      • Blind Ambition Builds a World Class Climber: The Story of Jesse Dufton
      • First Paralyzed Ascents: Rand Abbott
      • Mixed Climbing: My Answer to KT Syndrome
      • Paraclimbing Competitions: Althlete Interviews
      • Rock!
      • The Unreasonable Man
    • Belaytionships Edition >
      • Featured Photographer: Charlie OlGrady-Kessner
      • Belaytionships: Maggie and Charlie Odette
      • Zac the Interloper
      • Book Review: Uncoiling the Ropes
      • Belaytionships: Drew-and-Sarah
      • This page has been removed
      • I Am My Father's Son: Layton Bridwell
    • Big Wall Edition >
      • Book Review: Paul Preuss: Lord of the Abyss
      • Featured Photographer: Matt Spohn
      • Grading Commitment
      • Hanging with the Monkeys, and Getting the Monkey Off My Back
      • It Was His Time: Brad Gobright Interview May 2019
      • John Middendorf : A Big Man for a Big Stone
      • Sébastien Berthe Free Climbs the Nose From the Ground Up
      • Shit Happens – Or, Why You Need a Walkie Talkie
    • Developers and Guidebook Authors >
      • Developer - Mitch Lehman
      • Andrew Penny - A Blue Mountaineer
      • Kevin Powell
      • Rock Star Groupie
      • Tony Calderone
    • Exploring Our World >
      • AUSTRALIA - Photographer - Diego Perez
      • AUSTRALIA - Profile - Julie Anderson
      • Book Review - Climbing Rock
      • CHINA - From Yangshuo, to Getu, to Liming
      • FRANCE - Verdon in Winter
      • GREECE - Meteora
      • ITALY - Dolomites
      • MEXICO - La Huasteca
      • SPAIN - Artist - Karmelo Onate
      • UTAH - Maple Canyon: This One Makes You Taller
    • Firsts... and Last >
      • A Tale of Oso Madre
      • Clayton Herrmann - Featured Photographer
      • Rysavy Ridge >
        • The Migrant Pom on Rysavy Ridge
        • Throng of Roland
        • Fast Forward - Rysavy Ridge Revisited
      • The Three Sisters
    • Honoring Diversity >
      • ARTIST: Shawn Lee
      • A Shift on Moonlight Buttress
      • Claiming a Space on the Mountain
      • Colorblind
      • Feature Photographer: Bryan Sillorequez
      • Is Diversity in America Diverse?
      • MOVIE: People of Climbing:
      • Profile - Favia Dubyk
      • The Lineage
    • Humor
    • Joshua Tree >
      • Bouldering: JTree Made Me Do It
      • Improv at JTree: Bad Bolts
      • JTree: Bolting Pressure Cooker
      • Joshua Tree: Heinous Approaches
    • Overcoming Adversity >
      • Acopa Outdoors
      • Anoushe Husain
      • Expanding the Circle
      • Failure is Part of the Price: Rand Abbott Attempts the First Adaptive Lead Ascent of The Nose
      • Overcoming a Brain Tumor: WeighMyRack Founder Interview: Alison Dennis
      • Rising
      • The Mountain Path Book Review
    • Overcoming Boundaries >
      • Photographer - Brook Anderson
      • Profile - Louise Shepherd
      • Profile - Megan Banker
      • Profile - Shawn Axelrod
      • Rock Type 1
      • The Tape Job
    • Strength Edition >
      • Effective Training: Are You Getting Stronger or Just Getting Tired?
      • In Praise of Mustang Coffee
      • More: Life on the Edge of Adventure and Motherhood
      • Mother Earth: One of Australia's Hardest Natural Lines
      • My Husband Climbs Stronger than Me
      • She has a Name: Mary Catherine Eden
      • Train the Mind: Mental Toughness Tips
    • Women's Edition >
      • Editorial - Women's Edition
      • Climbing is My Art
      • Mt. Logan Solo
      • Photographer - Michelle Ranee Johnson
      • Profile - Caitlin Schokker
  • Writing
    • All Writings (List)
    • Topics >
      • Adaptive Climbing >
        • Adaptive Climbing Edition
        • El Capitan: Enock Glidden
        • Failure is Part of the Price: Rand Abbott Attempts the First Adaptive Lead Ascent of The Nose
        • Jean
        • Quinn Brett Interview
        • My Journey to Adaptive Rock Climbing
        • Planning for Mt. Rainier: Adaptive Climbing
        • Resources - Adaptive Climbing
        • Adaptive Climbing: It's About Climbing Independence
      • Alpine & Ice >
        • A Chamonix Initiation
        • California Still Has Untouched Climbing Wilderness
        • Elusive Ice - A Rare Tasmanian Treat
        • Ice Solo
        • Mt. Ogden Spanking
        • Mt. Whitney Whipping
        • My Common Alpine Epic
        • The Dru Derby >
          • Horses for Courses - The Dru Derby 1971
          • My Dru Derby
          • The North Face of the Dru - Chris Baxter
        • Vertical Ice Climbing in Ontario, Canada, eh?
      • Profiles >
        • Climberisms by Dylan Taylor
        • A - Shawn Axelrod - Overcoming Boundaries
        • B - Megan Banker - Plus-Sized Climbing Advocate
        • B - Wendy Bruere - More Than It Hurts
        • D - Favia Dubyk - American Ninja Warrior
        • F - Debbie Fowler - A N00bie Climber's Story
        • G - Guinea Pig Climbers: Zoe and Patches
        • E - Ian Elliot - It's All Up From Here
        • H - Lindsey Hamm - The Hamminator
        • H - Sabine Pratt Hunziker - Little Red Riding Hood
        • M - Marisa Michael - Nutrition for Climbers
        • M - Josie McKee: Training the Mind for Joy
        • P - Dave Parry - Author Grit Blocs
        • S - Caitlin Schokker
        • S - Louise Shepherd - Aussie Legend
        • T - Mia Tucholke - IFMGA Mountain Guide
      • Comics >
        • Master and his Apprentice
        • Totem Pole 2082
        • The Video - Comic
      • CoVID and Climbing >
        • COVID Climbing Memes
        • CoVID-19 Remakes Our Lives
        • Dear Memory
        • From Couch to Lifting Couches
        • How to Climb and Avoid the Corona Virus
        • The 5.10 Commandments
        • Trying to Send this Route
      • Equipment (writings) >
        • Aliens!
        • A Rack Retrospective
        • Cam Ranges (+ Big Bros)
        • Carabiner Strength Ratings
        • Climbing Shoes Fit
        • Guide Book Follies
        • Rope Buying 101
        • Shit Happens – Or, Why You Need a Walkie Talkie
        • The One Item to Stockpile
        • Which Way Should I Carry My Trad Rack?
        • Why GriGris Suck
        • 8 Reasons I Carry a Full Rack on Every Trad Climb
      • Facebook Feature >
        • FF: Big Walls
        • FF: Butt Shots
        • FF: Exploring Our World
        • FF: Overcoming Boundaries
        • FF: Trees & Climbing
        • FF: Welcome New Climbers
      • Fiction >
        • GOD
        • Red Curtain: Prologue & Chapter 1 Excerpt
      • Gift Ideas >
        • Climbing Goods
        • Climbing Stocking Stuffers 2021
        • Rock Stack Card Game
        • Safety Gifts 2021
      • Grades, Styles, & Types >
        • Absolutely Hypothetical: Introducing the Graham Scale
        • Bouldering-Falling
        • Bouldering Grade Advancements
        • Grading Climbs at the Gym
        • It's a F-ing Chimney
        • Onsight vs Flash vs Etc...
        • Top 10: Increase the Climbing Grade When...
        • Trad Climbing is for Chicken Sh*#s
        • WTF 5.7?
        • 18 Climber Types: Which Are You?
      • Kids >
        • Family Stages
        • The Guidebook
      • Legends & Tributes >
        • A - Bryden Allen
        • B - The Bell's Line: The Keith Bell Story
        • B - John Brailsford Tribute - The Immaculate MOAC
        • B - Joe Brown
        • C - Cutcliffe - The Boy from Bothwell – A Tribute to Max Cutcliffe, an Australian Legend
        • G - Brad Gobright
        • G - Todd Gordon
        • H - Hugh Herr
        • H - Thomas Huber - In Another World - A Personal Climbing Journey
        • J - Saxon Johns
        • M - Tim Macartney-Snape: ​A Legend from Sea to Summit
        • M - John Middendorf
        • S- Paul Seddon - From a Nut to a Harness: A Tribute to Paul Seddon, The Third Troll
        • R - Early to Rock: David Roots
      • Mental-Physical >
        • Climbing Training Series >
          • Climbing Warm-Up: Shoulders & Fingers
          • Effective Training: Are You Getting Stronger or Just Getting Tired?
          • Improving Hip Mobility
          • Rock Climber Mobility
          • Train the Mind: Mental Toughness Tips
        • Climbing Through Life
        • A Climb Worth Fighting For
        • Achilles
        • Encouraging Words - At Any Age
        • Everyone Around Me Is Better Than I Am
        • Falling Far Enough
        • Fear, Pride, and Exploration
        • How Auto-Immune Disease Affected My Climbing
        • Lessons from a 30-foot Ground Fall
        • Mastering Joy on Easy Street
        • Mind, Body, and Soul
        • My Demon Has a Name
        • New Year's Resolutions
        • Of Cartoons and Quickdraws
        • Psychological First Aid
        • Push and Pull
        • Sorcerer and the Kidney Stone
        • Take Risks - You'll Remember Them Later
        • The Art of Climbing Without Rock
        • The Devil's Game
        • The Eye
        • The Taste of Climbing
        • 12-Weeks to Onsighting a 5.8
      • Other/Misc >
        • A Day Out With Barnsey
        • A Leap into the Blue Back in the Day
        • Animal Acts Part 1: Things with Wings
        • Animal Acts 2: Things That Slither, Crawl, and Walk
        • Assault on Schurman Rock
        • Christo's Little Bay Rhapsody
        • Climbing, Community, and the U.S. Presidential Election
        • Climbing Gyms: The Gateway Drug
        • Climbing Hands
        • Climbing in the Bare Essentials
        • Climbing Resolutions
        • Dirtbag Trucker
        • Demented Dirtbag
        • Don't Take Granite for Granite
        • Dorothy, We Aren't on Havana Anymore
        • Guatemalan Worry Dolls Go Climbing
        • GymRhino
        • Memes by Bad Beta Bouldering
        • No Health Insurance Changed How I Climb
        • Snakes and Ladders
        • Starting Over
        • Summit Fever
        • Sydney: Growing Up
        • The Adventure of A Lifetime - So Far
        • The Bane of Northwest Climbing
        • The Hangglider Incident
        • The Pink Tricam
        • Things of Stone and Wood
        • We Were Just Boys
        • Zac the Interloper
      • Places & Climbs >
        • Climbs >
          • Consolation Prize
          • Echo Crack and Cracked Egos
          • Email From Italy
          • Flakes and Shakes: Flake Crack Revisited
          • From Yorkshire to Eternity
          • I Like Fake Cracks (And I Cannot Lie)
          • Lost Boys Meets Hard Boys >
            • The Lost Boys: The Epic First Ascent of Mount Warning's Wollumbin Shield
          • Mont Blanc: Climbing the Best Granite Cracks in Europe
          • Ozymandias Direct - Fifty Years of Fun and Games
          • The Fourth Bolt of Texas Radio
          • The Matterhorn
          • Thumbing The Nose at Mr. CF Jingus
          • Tiptoeing Through Some Bungles
          • Tombstone Territory
          • Yosemite - What We Came For
        • Location Reviews
        • My Home Crag >
          • Climbing in the Upper Cumberland Valley, Kentucky
          • Copen Hill Climbing Wall
          • Drytooling in the Rain - Wayne's World, WA
          • My Home Crag: Nowra, NSW, Australia
          • New River Gorge, West Virgina
          • The Kenyan Climber
        • Travel Stories >
          • Blue Mountains - Bliss: Climbing in the Blueys
          • Buenos Aires, Argentina Crag
          • Colorado - Calling Pat Ament
          • Coolum Cave - Sendfest 8
          • Desert Special Forces Adventures: Part 1
          • Ecuador - A Nation of Four Worlds
          • Egypt: The Sinai Sampler
          • El Potrero Chico - Riding the Dirty Dog
          • Yosemite: Growing Up
          • Lover's Leap - Zone of Craptitude
          • Moonarie
          • Red Rock Canyon - Race Through Red Rock
          • Rio de Janeiro - Classic Climbs Sampler
          • Sintra, Portugal
          • Taghia, Morocco - Hardly Failing
          • Tasmania - Legend of the ‘Unclimbable Cliff’
          • Thailand - Lost and Found: A Mini-Epic in Paradise
          • Vedauwoo, WY
          • What Two Friends Uncovered in Verdon
          • Yosemite - What We Came For
          • 20 World Destinations for Adventurous Climbing
      • Poetry/Prose >
        • A Bard of Yosemite
        • Anti-Social Climbers
        • Sojourn at Dyuritte
        • Finding Poetry
        • Ice is Nice
        • The Space Between
      • Puzzles and Games >
        • Climbing Drinking Games
        • Crossword - Strength Edition
      • Safety and Skills >
        • Bolting and Ground-Fall Potential
        • Euro-Death Knot is NOT
        • Multi-Pitch Tips: Two ATCs
        • Sketchy Anchor Bolts
        • Sliding-X Anchor
        • Three Ways to Use a Stick Clip
        • Top 10: Climbing Best Practices
      • Social, Social Media, & Social Issues >
        • A Delicate Balance - Gariwerd
        • Chossy Trio Renegades
        • Climbing into the Fold
        • Diversity in Climbing is Not a Bandwagon
        • Don't Burn Out
        • From Gortex to Camouflage: The story of climber, Irina Galay and climbing’s responses to the war in Ukraine
        • Fuck "Gumbies" and "Noobs"
        • I Am a Woman: Brie Chartier Shares Her Transition Journey
        • Montana, My Home: Claire Larson
        • Navajo Rising
        • Social Network Rescue
        • Social Pressure, Climbing, and Leave No Trace
        • The Alps Will Have to Wait
        • The First Climbing Gym Union?
  • Marketplace
    • Acopa Outdoors
    • Butora
    • Climbing Addicts Colored Chalk
    • Climb-On Maps
    • Dynamite Starfish
    • Elira - No Need to Strip, Just Unzip
    • FIXEhardware
    • Furnace Industries
    • Grimpi
    • Heroclip
    • Lacaida Ropes
    • Mountain Drifter
    • MoveWell with McGee
    • Mystery Ranch
    • Neilico
    • NW Alpine
    • Rockytalkies
    • SLAPCHALKS
    • Tension Climbing
    • Tera Kaia
  • Reviews
    • Book Reviews >
      • Advanced Rock Climbing Book Review
      • Adventures at the Edge of the World
      • Climb - Book Review
      • Climbing Glass Book Review
      • Climbing Rock: Vertical Explorations Across North America
      • Hangdog Days Book Review
      • HOOKING UP: The Ultimate Big Wall and Aid Climbing Manual
      • More: Life on the Edge of Adventure and Motherhood
      • Paul Preuss: Lord of the Abyss
      • Red Curtain - Book Review
      • Sydney Climbing - Book Review
      • The Greater Fool - Brad Gobright and the Blinding Shine of Originality
      • The Mountain Path Book Review
      • The Sharp End of Life: A Mother's Story - Book Review
      • Uncoiling the Ropes
      • Valley of Giants
      • Yosemite Bigwalls: The Ultimate Guide Review
    • Equipment/Gear Reviews >
      • Belay Device Review >
        • Edelrid Mega Jul
      • Harness Reviews >
        • ArcTeryx-FL-365
        • Misty Mountain Cadillac
      • Packs and Bags >
        • Sukoa Chalk Bag Review
        • Trango Crag Pack
      • Personal Anchor Systems >
        • Camp-Daisy-Twist
        • Petzl-Dual-Adjust
      • Other Gear Reviews >
        • D4 Delta2P Portaledge
        • Skyhook Stick Clip Review
    • Location Reviews >
      • Australia >
        • Queensland, Australia >
          • Kangaroo Point Photos and Beta
          • Kangaroo Point Review
        • New South Wales Australia >
          • Blue Mountains >
            • Blue Mountains Photos and Beta
            • Blue Mountains Review
          • Nowra >
            • Nowra Review >
              • Nowra Photos and Beta
      • Mexico >
        • Potrero Chico Photos and Beta
        • Potrero Chico Review
      • United States >
        • Climbing Area Check List - U.S. >
          • Climbing Area Check List Part 1: Alabama to California
          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 2: Colorado to Michigan
          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 3: Minnesota to New Mexico
          • Climbing Area Checklist Part 4: New York to Wyoming
        • Arizona >
          • Queen Creek Canyon
        • California >
          • Joshua Tree >
            • Joshua Tree Tips
          • Mount Whitney >
            • Mount Whitney Photos and Beta
        • Idaho
        • Oregon >
          • Smith Rock >
            • Smith Rock - Photos and Beta
            • Smith Rock Review
          • Spring Mountain >
            • Spring Mountain Review
            • Spring Mountain - Photos and Beta
          • Trout Creek >
            • Trout Creek Photos and Beta
            • Trout Creek Review
        • Nevada >
          • Gun Club
          • Keyhole Canyon
          • Mt. Charleston, Nevada
          • Red Rock Canyon >
            • Red Rock Canyon Review - Yeahs and Neahs
            • Red Rock Canyon Photos and Beta
        • New Hampshire >
          • North Conway, NH
          • Rumney, NH
        • New York >
          • Gunks Review
        • Utah >
          • Echo Canyon
          • Ferguson Canyon >
            • Ferguson Canyon Photos and Beta
            • Ferguson Canyon Review
          • Ibex >
            • Ibex Photos and Beta
            • Ibex Review
          • Maple Canyon >
            • Maple Canyon, Utah Photos and Beta
            • Maple Canyon Review
          • Moab >
            • Moab - Main - Photos and Beta
            • Moab -Main - Review
          • St. George >
            • St. George - Prophesy Wall- Photos and Beta
            • St. George - Prophesy Wall - Review
        • West Virginia >
          • Seneca Rocks
        • Wyoming >
          • Ten Sleep
  • Photographers & Artists
    • A-F - Photographers and Artists >
      • A- Brook Anderson
      • B - Florian Beyer
      • B - Michael Blowers
      • B - Phillip Booth
      • B - Guillaume Borga
      • B - Michaël Bortoluzzi
      • B - Michael Bretz
      • C - Karen Chan
      • C - Matt Cunningham
      • D - Daga Dygas
      • E- Mary Catherine Eden
      • F - Eric Fallecker
    • G-N - Photographers and Artists >
      • G - Katherine González
      • G - Max Gordon
      • H - Clayton Herrmann
      • J - Michelle Ranee Johnson
      • K - Jethro Kiernan
      • K - Christine Kuebler
      • L - Jim Lawyer - Everyone Needs a Lawyer: Profile of Climber & Photographer, Jim Lawyer
      • L - Shawn Lee Illustrator
      • L - LieseLotte P
      • L - Jim Lin
      • M - Lindsey Mathewson
      • M - Alex Messenger
      • N - Tiffany Nardico
    • O-Z- Photographers and Artists >
      • O - Charlie OlGrady-Kessner
      • O - Karmelo Onate
      • O - Camila Ospina
      • P - Diego Perez
      • S - Charlie S.
      • S - Xavi Sanchez - Climbing Comic
      • S - Helmut Schulze
      • S - Bryan Sillorequez
      • S - Stephen Smithburger
      • S - Matt Spohn
      • V - Laura Vallo
      • W - Joel Wilson
      • Z - Eson Zhao
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    • A-F >
      • B - Stephanie Bahnsen
      • B - Alex Barlow
      • B - Dave Barnes >
        • Dave Barnes Extended Bio
      • B - Austin Beck-Doss
      • B - Keith Bell
      • B - Brianna Boney
      • C - Massimo Cappuccio
      • C - Carrot
      • C - Radek Chalupa
      • C - Lyle Closs
      • C - Erin Collins
      • C - James Crump
      • D - Stefani Dawn
      • D - Derek DeBruin
      • D - Nick Ducker
      • F - Tony Ferrar
    • G-O >
      • G - Joshua G
      • G - Leesa Gallia
      • G - Naomi Gibbs
      • G - Geoffrey Gledhill
      • G - Enock Glidden
      • G - Max Gordon (Contributor)
      • H - Grey Hensley
      • H - Bavali "Megs" Hill
      • H - Michael Hjorth
      • M - Henk Morgans
      • J - Jonathan
      • K- Melissa Kline
      • K - Christine Kuebler
      • L - Mike Lewis
      • L - Kaybe Loughran
      • M - Collin McGee
      • M - Tony McKenny
      • M - Aaron Mike
      • M - Rick Momsen
      • M - Jesse Montgomery
      • O - Maggie Odette
    • P-Z >
      • P - Emilie Pellerin
      • P - Brice Pollock
      • P - Paul Pritchard
      • R - Monique Richard
      • R - Juan Rodriguez
      • S - Lor Sabourin
      • S - Jess Sanson
      • S - Jeff Smoot
      • T- Frothy Thomson
      • T - Wil Treasure
      • T - Matt Tredway
      • T - Natalia (Tal) Tune
      • W - Kirby Walke
      • W - Hugh Ward
      • W - Stuart Williams
      • W - Wayne Willoughby
      • W - Lani Wilson
      • W - Dierdre Wolownick
      • Z - Peter Zabrok
  • Videos
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