Featured Fuzz Balls: Guinea Pig Climbers - Patches and Zoe

We all love our fur babies right? Most of the time though they are crag dogs and the occasional crag kitty. But, this time they are guinea pigs.

In case you haven't heard of Patches and Zoe - the one and only guinea pig climbers - Common Climber is bringing you into the "know" to meet these Insta-famous fuzz balls.

In this edition we share a new interview of these two critters along with the two humans who chauffeur them around, take (most) of their photos, and make their gear.

There are also a few other Insta-famous faces sprinkled amongst the photos - after all, who doesn't want to see and be seen with the ones and only?!

Editorial

You know what's great about being a Common Climber? We know how to have fun. We know how to laugh. We find the humor.

Sometimes climbing takes itself waaay to seriously. Amiright? I mean have you ever gotten so caught up in a "discussion" on whether you onsighted or red pointed a climb? Or how about whether a pink point counts as a send? Or whether you should have your draws face in our out on your harness?

Or, how about the "discussions" about the grade of a climb? "There's no way that was a 5.12 - that was so soft?" "What?! Soft for you because you have an ape index of 250!" How about how bruised our ego gets if we get our asses kicked by a 5.7?

We all do it at some point in our climbing lives - take climbing super seriously - but sometimes, if you hang with climbing long enough, you also reach a point where you say fuck it and just laugh. 

When I started Common Climber I just wanted a place to have some playful climbing content. Over the years, Common Climber has continuously sprinkled humorous stories into our editions - and in our Anthology (which is now out of print), where we dedicated a chapter to humor - but we've never had a full online edition dedicated to humor. Well, it's time that changed. So, here it is. The first humor edition of Common Climber!

This certainly doesn't hit all of the funny submissions we have, but I dare you to read all these stories below, and then submit your own funny story so we can keep this fun tradition going!

-- Stef
​Creator & Editor-in-Chief

Taking Ourselves Not So Seriously

• Climbing Drinking Games (by Stefani Dawn) - Have a little fun with: Guidebook Roulette; 15 Minutes My A**! and "Nice!" at the Crag.

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• Top 10: Increase the Climbing Grade When... (by Stefani Dawn) - A climber ponders climbing grades and invents a new game…Increase the climbing grade when...

• Onsight vs. Flash vs. Redpoint vs. Pinkpoint vs. Tronsight - (by Stefani Dawn) An incredibly serious tongue-in-cheek discussion about the nuanced differences between these "you either did it -- or you didn't" sending terms.

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• WTF 5.7? (by Stefani Dawn) - Some climbing grades, more so than others, are simply unpredictable and can blind-side you.

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Climbing "​Incidents"

• A Leap into the Blue Back in the Day ​(By Keith Bell) - ​Often climbs are named based upon an experience with the first ascent - but this climb, called "Serenity," was named tongue-in-cheek for the very non-serene descent that occurred before the ascent. 

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• Dorothy, We Aren't On Havanah Anymore (by Stefani Dawn) - Have you ever gotten on the wrong climb and realized it a little too late?

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• The Bane of Northwest Climbing (by Stefani Dawn) - F#$% moss! Enough said.

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• Zone of Craptitude (by Stefani Dawn) -  A climber enters the zone - a different kind of zone...

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• Snakes and Ladders (by ​David Barnes) - Australia – the land where walking out your front door means you may be bitten, stung, or even killed by any number of critters. Now try it on a climb...

• Animal Acts Part 1: Things With Wings (by Keith Bell) - Keith Bell has a way with words and some rich climbing tales. In part one of a two-part series Keith shares four laugh-out-loud tales of climbing encounters with "Things With Wings."

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• Of Cartoons and Quickdraws (by Juan Rodriguez) - A climber has a Wile E. Coyote moment as he is suspended mid-fall, in disbelief, quickdraw in hand.

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• La Huasteca (By James Crump) - A hilarious and adventurous coming-of-age tale of when a 16-year-old Crump and his buddy Goomba cross the border to Mexico and go adventure climbing in La Huasteca.​

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• The Hangglider Incident (By James Crump) - Climbing pot-pipes? Cops? Hanggliders? Texas climbing legend James Crump tells a tale like no other. This story is no exception. Be ready to laugh - and be shocked - in disbelief as this larger-than-life Texas climbing tale unfolds. 

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Famous People

• Calling Pat Ament (By Jeff Smoot) - An adventure story of two young climbers just trying to find a place to sleep. ​

• Christo's Little Bay Rhapsody (By Keith Bell) - ​Christo, an avant garde artist that likes to wrap very large things, left his mark on Little Bay near Sydney, Australia - with the help of climbers, of course. Contributor Keith Bell happened to be one of those climbers. In this interesting and humorous account, Keith fills us in on what it was like to help wrap 2.5 kilometers (1.5 miles) of coastline with fabric and what happened in the aftermath - including how NOT to deal with 400 meters of rope.

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Training and Gear

• 12-Weeks to Onsighting a 5.8 - Now available from State of Readiness - THE definitive online rock climbing training program - 12-Weeks to Onsighting a 5.8!

• How the Alien Got Its Name (By Jeff Smoot) - Jeff Smoot dredges up some long forgotten - or perhaps never known - history of how the now-infamous Alien cam actually got its name...

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Comics, Memes, & Videos

Totem Pole 2082 (By Xavi Sanchez)

Climbing Memes (By Bad Beta Bouldering)

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Butt Shots from Facebook Contributors

GRILLS CUDDLY BEARS

Aussie climber Grills Cuddly Bears does a first ascent in the EXTREME heat in the EXTREME desert of the EXTREME desert Southwest.

​(Video Written, Acted, & Created By: Stefani Dawn)

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