I hear statements like this all the time:
“climbing grades are arbitrary – they are just a guestimate” and “take the grade with a grain of salt.”
Is there variability in grading? Absofuckinglutely. But are grades arbitrary? Hmmm…not so sure.
If grades were truly arbitrary we wouldn’t really even bother with them, would we? We wouldn’t give a shit that Ondra just sent the next 5.14abcdefg. We wouldn’t joke about that 5.7 that just kicked our ass. We wouldn’t whoop-whoop over sending our first outdoor 5.11d. We wouldn’t pontificate about 5.11d’s actually being harder than 5.12a’s because the person who graded the climb was afraid to give it the 5.12 label lest they be blasted by their peers for claiming they kicked some ass when all they really did was climb a measly 5.11.
But hey, I’m willing to play the arbitrary grading game! If I can make myself seem just a little more badass than I really am, I’m totally game. And, honestly, there are circumstances that make the climbing a little bit, or sometimes a lot, more difficult.
Here’s the game:
Below is a list of circumstances where you have permission to add at least a letter grade, if not one full number grade, to the climb. Counting down from 10 to 1, 10 is a situation that makes the climb a little more difficult and 1 is a situation that makes it a lot more difficult:
10. Piles of animal shit – This is a common problem on multi-pitch climbs and especially lower-grade trad climbs that have lots of ledges. Sometimes its little tiny rat turds that add a minor “ew” factor, other times it’s a 30-year accumulation of bird shit under a nest. If it’s old and solidified, then you can’t add much of a grade increase to the climb, but if its chalky/crumbly or slimy definitely give yourself some brownie points.
9. Hangovers/exhaustion/illness – Ok, I know this isn’t really an attribute of the climb itself, but it deserves some recognition. Climbs really are more difficult when you feel like shit. If puking or diarrhea are part of the mix, it might merit a couple letter grade increase (a 5.10a = a 5.10c).
8. Lichen – This is the dry, thin, flaky, crumbly stuff covering the rock on less-frequented climbs. It doesn’t really mess up hand-holds much but it does fuck with foot friction. Many times it can be brushed off with the foot as you go up. Here is the technique: a) get a good hand hold; b) rub the ball of your foot over the rock a few times where you are going to step; c) test it; d) step. If the climb only has a few lichen-y spots then add a + or letter grade. If whole damn thing is a crust-fest, give yourself more points.
7. Rain – Water and certain types of rocks don’t mix. I’ve done some climbs where, surprisingly, the friction wasn’t too compromised by rain. But, even in these higher friction circumstances rain still makes the climb harder, especially for the hand-holds (HINT: Chalk won’t help). So give yourself a + or letter grade for just climbing in the rain. If the rock turns into a slip-and-slide, definitely go ahead and add a full number grade.
6. Altitude – You are huffing and puffing because the oxygen level has dropped, your brain is mush and operating somewhere between a 3rd and 9th grade levels, and you may feel like puking. Toss in a + or letter increase for climbing at an altitude of 8,000-10,000 feet. If you are climbing between 10,000 – 12,000 ft, add a couple of letters, or a full number grade , and maybe a + below 5.9. Above 12,000 feet add a full number grade for any climb, maybe two number grades for climbs below 5.9 (i.e. above 12,000 feet a 5.7 is now a 5.9).
5. Choss/Loose Rock – I always wondered if the climbing grade for these climbs was determined based on the concept that you could actually use that loose piece of shit for a hold? I, for one, don’t want to increase the likelihood of my belayer being knocked unconscious by my carelessness, so I tend to avoid loose rock completely. Increase the grade of the climb relative to the amount of unusable climbing area. This might be a 5.6 IF you could actually yard on that huge jug above you or step on that sweet jutting triangle, but when it takes 10-minutes to find a secure hold and it ends up being a 3-millimeter crimp around the fat bulge of rocking rock, congratulations, you are now on a 5.10a.
4. Poison oak/ivy, blackberry, or cacti growing out of holds or cracks – Plants can actually be helpful on a climb. Ever grabbed the base of bush to get you past that hard section? I’ll admit it, I have, and I justified it because, well, it was there and all options are on. There are some circumstances, however, where plants fuck hard with a climb, completely obscuring holds AND blocking the only place you can put a piece of pro. Add in injury-inducing features like thorns or poison that will make you ooze and itch for weeks and you are really hosed. Not only can you no longer use that crack, you have to avoid the entire radius of the plant, changing the climb completely. Murphy’s Law would have it that the best holds are beneath the plant’s canopy and your re-route is a blank face. Often a full number grade is merited here, if even for the “what the fuck?!” mental game of dealing with these stress-inducing plants.
3. Moss – I hate moss. I hate moss so much I dedicated a whole story about climbing on mossy routes. Moss is NOT thin crusty little lichen, it’s a full-on shag carpet completely filling cracks and covering entire surfaces. In the summer it’s dry and rips off in your hand in clumps the size of a wig, in the early season it’s a slime fest that renders all surfaces useless. Add 1-2 grades to your climb for the sheer balls-iness of your effort.
2. Glassy or slick rock – Ever gotten on that oh-so-popular 5.8 and shit your pants because all of the holds are so polished smooth that it’s no longer the same climb that it was 10 years ago when it was originally graded? Then give yourself 1-2 number grades for that one. There are also some types of rock that are naturally slick, and it’s not necessarily predictable. For example I have been on granite, basalt, and limestone that have awesome friction. And, I have been on granite, basalt, and limestone that felt like someone orbital-grinded it with a shoe-polisher. Then there are rocks, like quartzite, that it seems slick about 75% of the time. Yeah, add 1-2 number grades for slickness.
1. It’s a “classic” route – Automatically add a full number grade here. You can add additional number grades if any of the above 9 conditions exist – which is highly likely, especially the glassy/slick rock conditions because the climb has Interstate-level use. Give yourself a HUGE pat on the back for completing the “classic” 5.8 that is really a 5.11.
“climbing grades are arbitrary – they are just a guestimate” and “take the grade with a grain of salt.”
Is there variability in grading? Absofuckinglutely. But are grades arbitrary? Hmmm…not so sure.
If grades were truly arbitrary we wouldn’t really even bother with them, would we? We wouldn’t give a shit that Ondra just sent the next 5.14abcdefg. We wouldn’t joke about that 5.7 that just kicked our ass. We wouldn’t whoop-whoop over sending our first outdoor 5.11d. We wouldn’t pontificate about 5.11d’s actually being harder than 5.12a’s because the person who graded the climb was afraid to give it the 5.12 label lest they be blasted by their peers for claiming they kicked some ass when all they really did was climb a measly 5.11.
But hey, I’m willing to play the arbitrary grading game! If I can make myself seem just a little more badass than I really am, I’m totally game. And, honestly, there are circumstances that make the climbing a little bit, or sometimes a lot, more difficult.
Here’s the game:
Below is a list of circumstances where you have permission to add at least a letter grade, if not one full number grade, to the climb. Counting down from 10 to 1, 10 is a situation that makes the climb a little more difficult and 1 is a situation that makes it a lot more difficult:
- For climbs rated 5.0-5.9 – You can add a + or a full number grade up to 5.10.
- For grades 5.10 and above, you can add at least one letter grade (i.e. a, b, c, d), sometimes two. There are some circumstances, outlined below, where you can add a full number grade for a climb 5.10 and above (e.g. a 5.10 becomes a 5.11)
10. Piles of animal shit – This is a common problem on multi-pitch climbs and especially lower-grade trad climbs that have lots of ledges. Sometimes its little tiny rat turds that add a minor “ew” factor, other times it’s a 30-year accumulation of bird shit under a nest. If it’s old and solidified, then you can’t add much of a grade increase to the climb, but if its chalky/crumbly or slimy definitely give yourself some brownie points.
9. Hangovers/exhaustion/illness – Ok, I know this isn’t really an attribute of the climb itself, but it deserves some recognition. Climbs really are more difficult when you feel like shit. If puking or diarrhea are part of the mix, it might merit a couple letter grade increase (a 5.10a = a 5.10c).
8. Lichen – This is the dry, thin, flaky, crumbly stuff covering the rock on less-frequented climbs. It doesn’t really mess up hand-holds much but it does fuck with foot friction. Many times it can be brushed off with the foot as you go up. Here is the technique: a) get a good hand hold; b) rub the ball of your foot over the rock a few times where you are going to step; c) test it; d) step. If the climb only has a few lichen-y spots then add a + or letter grade. If whole damn thing is a crust-fest, give yourself more points.
7. Rain – Water and certain types of rocks don’t mix. I’ve done some climbs where, surprisingly, the friction wasn’t too compromised by rain. But, even in these higher friction circumstances rain still makes the climb harder, especially for the hand-holds (HINT: Chalk won’t help). So give yourself a + or letter grade for just climbing in the rain. If the rock turns into a slip-and-slide, definitely go ahead and add a full number grade.
6. Altitude – You are huffing and puffing because the oxygen level has dropped, your brain is mush and operating somewhere between a 3rd and 9th grade levels, and you may feel like puking. Toss in a + or letter increase for climbing at an altitude of 8,000-10,000 feet. If you are climbing between 10,000 – 12,000 ft, add a couple of letters, or a full number grade , and maybe a + below 5.9. Above 12,000 feet add a full number grade for any climb, maybe two number grades for climbs below 5.9 (i.e. above 12,000 feet a 5.7 is now a 5.9).
5. Choss/Loose Rock – I always wondered if the climbing grade for these climbs was determined based on the concept that you could actually use that loose piece of shit for a hold? I, for one, don’t want to increase the likelihood of my belayer being knocked unconscious by my carelessness, so I tend to avoid loose rock completely. Increase the grade of the climb relative to the amount of unusable climbing area. This might be a 5.6 IF you could actually yard on that huge jug above you or step on that sweet jutting triangle, but when it takes 10-minutes to find a secure hold and it ends up being a 3-millimeter crimp around the fat bulge of rocking rock, congratulations, you are now on a 5.10a.
4. Poison oak/ivy, blackberry, or cacti growing out of holds or cracks – Plants can actually be helpful on a climb. Ever grabbed the base of bush to get you past that hard section? I’ll admit it, I have, and I justified it because, well, it was there and all options are on. There are some circumstances, however, where plants fuck hard with a climb, completely obscuring holds AND blocking the only place you can put a piece of pro. Add in injury-inducing features like thorns or poison that will make you ooze and itch for weeks and you are really hosed. Not only can you no longer use that crack, you have to avoid the entire radius of the plant, changing the climb completely. Murphy’s Law would have it that the best holds are beneath the plant’s canopy and your re-route is a blank face. Often a full number grade is merited here, if even for the “what the fuck?!” mental game of dealing with these stress-inducing plants.
3. Moss – I hate moss. I hate moss so much I dedicated a whole story about climbing on mossy routes. Moss is NOT thin crusty little lichen, it’s a full-on shag carpet completely filling cracks and covering entire surfaces. In the summer it’s dry and rips off in your hand in clumps the size of a wig, in the early season it’s a slime fest that renders all surfaces useless. Add 1-2 grades to your climb for the sheer balls-iness of your effort.
2. Glassy or slick rock – Ever gotten on that oh-so-popular 5.8 and shit your pants because all of the holds are so polished smooth that it’s no longer the same climb that it was 10 years ago when it was originally graded? Then give yourself 1-2 number grades for that one. There are also some types of rock that are naturally slick, and it’s not necessarily predictable. For example I have been on granite, basalt, and limestone that have awesome friction. And, I have been on granite, basalt, and limestone that felt like someone orbital-grinded it with a shoe-polisher. Then there are rocks, like quartzite, that it seems slick about 75% of the time. Yeah, add 1-2 number grades for slickness.
1. It’s a “classic” route – Automatically add a full number grade here. You can add additional number grades if any of the above 9 conditions exist – which is highly likely, especially the glassy/slick rock conditions because the climb has Interstate-level use. Give yourself a HUGE pat on the back for completing the “classic” 5.8 that is really a 5.11.
