I run my arm across my nose to catch the snot-fall after a good cry. Why did he have to leave me? Not only did I lose my boyfriend, but to add to the misery, I lost my climbing partner. We even had a trip planned to City of Rocks!
I am not usually one to wallow in self-pity, but the multiple whammy of being new to the area, losing my boyfriend AND my climbing partner sent me for a pretty good loop. Get your ass to the gym, Stefani…I say to myself to overcome the inertia. But I don’t want to boulder alone, again... I sulk.
In my newly single state, what was once a relatively straight-forward activity, like hopping on a wall at the gym or heading out to the local crag, had become an effort and disheartening. Some people have a circle of climbing friends or a community ready to tap into. I did not. I was lost.
In a marathon Internet session of desperation I discovered two great resources to connect with other climbers, Mountain Project and Meetup.com. Such social networks may be old hat to some, but as a gen-ex single parent who works full time I’m a little behind the times. It is easy to become isolated in such circumstances. But these social resources transformed me. They helped me become part of a climbing community and gave me independence to climb anywhere.
Mountain Project saved my City of Rocks trip. I met up with two different climbers by posting a request for partners in the region on certain dates. I have since used the resource for other solo trips. From those experiences I learned that having some flexibility in dates improves your chances for success. I have also learned that you cannot make assumptions about a person’s climbing knowledge or safety based on what they tell you about themselves online. Give yourself permission to sound like an ass and insist that you go over the basics of safety and communication (I learned this when I was in the middle of leading a climb at Red Rocks, NV. I looked down and saw that my belayer was letting go of the rope with his brake hand.)
Meetup.com has by far been my best climbing resource. I had never previously heard of Meetup.com, so for the benefit of those not familiar with it, it is a website that connects people with common interests via local or regional events. Pick an interest and there is probably a Meetup group - climbing, kayaking, wine tasting, gaming, quilting, you name it. I have since become a co-organizer of a climbing Meetup group. This allows me to give back to the climbing community by setting up events and mentoring new climbers, as well as, to meet great people (I even met a great climber boyfriend whom I later married!).
For those of you curious about Meetup.com, here are a few pointers.
If you are interested in hosting a Meetup group or event, take it seriously. Try to make it well- coordinated, safe, and fun for participants. Events with fewer people can be more informal, but events with 5 or more participants require additional planning and thought. Although there is no requirement to be an experienced climber to host an outdoor event, it is better if you are. This is because you may need to set up ropes via lead (or trad lead). Here are some organizing basics.
Lastly, if you are climbing at a crag and see a Meetup group, don’t give them a hard time just because they are a large group (and don’t lambast them unnecessarily online). Do hold them immediately accountable if they ignore crag etiquette or are being unsafe. But if they are being good neighbors and just climbing, remember that you may someday be without a climbing partner will need a hand up.
I am not usually one to wallow in self-pity, but the multiple whammy of being new to the area, losing my boyfriend AND my climbing partner sent me for a pretty good loop. Get your ass to the gym, Stefani…I say to myself to overcome the inertia. But I don’t want to boulder alone, again... I sulk.
In my newly single state, what was once a relatively straight-forward activity, like hopping on a wall at the gym or heading out to the local crag, had become an effort and disheartening. Some people have a circle of climbing friends or a community ready to tap into. I did not. I was lost.
In a marathon Internet session of desperation I discovered two great resources to connect with other climbers, Mountain Project and Meetup.com. Such social networks may be old hat to some, but as a gen-ex single parent who works full time I’m a little behind the times. It is easy to become isolated in such circumstances. But these social resources transformed me. They helped me become part of a climbing community and gave me independence to climb anywhere.
Mountain Project saved my City of Rocks trip. I met up with two different climbers by posting a request for partners in the region on certain dates. I have since used the resource for other solo trips. From those experiences I learned that having some flexibility in dates improves your chances for success. I have also learned that you cannot make assumptions about a person’s climbing knowledge or safety based on what they tell you about themselves online. Give yourself permission to sound like an ass and insist that you go over the basics of safety and communication (I learned this when I was in the middle of leading a climb at Red Rocks, NV. I looked down and saw that my belayer was letting go of the rope with his brake hand.)
Meetup.com has by far been my best climbing resource. I had never previously heard of Meetup.com, so for the benefit of those not familiar with it, it is a website that connects people with common interests via local or regional events. Pick an interest and there is probably a Meetup group - climbing, kayaking, wine tasting, gaming, quilting, you name it. I have since become a co-organizer of a climbing Meetup group. This allows me to give back to the climbing community by setting up events and mentoring new climbers, as well as, to meet great people (I even met a great climber boyfriend whom I later married!).
For those of you curious about Meetup.com, here are a few pointers.
- Although there are Meetup groups specifically for singles, that is not what most Meetup groups are about. They are comprised of all kinds of people, both single and not, who simply want to practice their hobby and meet others with similar interests.
- Meetup groups are intended for the public hosted by the public (aka. regular folks).
- Since Meetups are hosted by regular folks, some events are better organized than others. You can get an idea of how well a Meetup is organized by looking at the information provided about the event. Ideally it should have clear details, like “meet at the green sign on the east end of the parking lot at 8:30. We will leave by 8:45. If you arrive late you can find us at…We will be doing x, y, z.” If event details are vague and the person does not respond to inquiries or posts, then there is the potential for frustration. You can also get an idea of an event organizer’s history by looking at past meet-ups. People rate them and leave comments, both positive and negative, about their experience.
- RSVP for an event if you plan to attend. If you change your mind, then log back in and say “no,” don’t just blow it off. As an event coordinator, I always take roll call at the meeting location and try to give people who RSVP a few extra minutes if they are late. People who RSVP and then not show up affect everyone. It is possible to not RSVP and then show up, but that is not ideal and could work against you if plans change (e.g. if everyone on the list arrives and the group takes off early.)
- When you sign up for a group, take a little time to thoughtfully and truthfully answer the profile questions. Responses can be helpful to organizers to gauge the experience of climbers attending a Meetup and plan.
- Read and adhere to any guidelines and etiquette posted by the group.
- Emails can be sent between participants within the site and you can choose whether or not to keep your personal email address hidden.
If you are interested in hosting a Meetup group or event, take it seriously. Try to make it well- coordinated, safe, and fun for participants. Events with fewer people can be more informal, but events with 5 or more participants require additional planning and thought. Although there is no requirement to be an experienced climber to host an outdoor event, it is better if you are. This is because you may need to set up ropes via lead (or trad lead). Here are some organizing basics.
- Starting and maintaining a Meetup group site requires an annual fee (as of this writing $144). It does not cost money to schedule events within the group. There are ways to re-coup this annual fee from group members via Paypal. The organizers of our group split the cost and charge nothing to the members. By and large, the culture is that Meetups are free. This holds true for events as well. If there is an entrance fee to a park or gym, inform people in the event description and have them cover their own entrance and parking fees. If you are carpooling, people need to pitch in for gas and parking fees. I post these fees in the write up.
- There are several ways to schedule events. If you anticipate hosting events on a regular basis, ask the organizer of the Meetup site to make you a co-organizer or event organizer. Depending on how the organizer has the Meetup site set up, any member of the group can suggest an event. Sometimes there are settings that require 3 people to RSVP to move an event from the “suggest” section to the front page.
- Provide clear instructions and details about the event. Plan ahead and try not to make last-minute changes. If event changes occur, post them on the event page as soon as possible.
- View your leadership as being a good steward of the climbing community. At the start of the event take time to review crag etiquette and safety with participants. Pair less experienced people with more experienced people or take a less experienced person under your wing for a climb or two. Never assume people have the experience they say they do. Ask detailed questions to double check.
- If a large number of people sign up for an outdoor climb, set up ropes ahead of time on a variety of grades (depending on people’s experience levels) and try to avoid really popular climbs. When your Meetup participants aren’t climbing on a rope, but you anticipate more will rotate onto the climb, place notes next to the ropes letting other climbers know the rope is available for them to climb. Also state that you will take it down if others at the crag wish to lead climb. The advantage to this arrangement is it gets the Meetup group climbing right away and keeps them moving through. They don’t have to wait for the set-up, which takes longer, especially if it’s a trad lead to set the toprope. One disadvantage to this arrangement is that at busy crags other potentially inexperienced and un-oriented people may use the ropes. Be prepared to mentor them too. View them as members of the climbing community, no different from your Meetup group. Avoid taking an us-versus-them mentality.
Lastly, if you are climbing at a crag and see a Meetup group, don’t give them a hard time just because they are a large group (and don’t lambast them unnecessarily online). Do hold them immediately accountable if they ignore crag etiquette or are being unsafe. But if they are being good neighbors and just climbing, remember that you may someday be without a climbing partner will need a hand up.